My honest resume
Margaret Hynds | Sunday, February 1, 2015
I’ll be honest with you; I didn’t make it to last week’s career fair.
In all fairness, it was cold outside, and all of my nice shirts needed to be ironed. … And it doesn’t help that I have no idea what to do with my life (but I’ll save that story for another day).
So while I was happy to find an alternative way to spend my Thursday afternoon, my doting parents took the opportunity to remind me that summer is just around the corner, and should I hope to have the means to support my penchants for coffee and pineapple pizza, I will need to acquire a job.
Last summer I did all sorts of things, but notably spent far too much time working a retail job that was … not quite my cup of tea. Highlights included getting a paper cut from a sweater (yes, you read that correctly; no, I’m not entirely sure how that happened, either) and being harassed by the company insurance representative for a full three months after I left because, in July, I accidentally dropped a hanger on my foot and broke it.
To clarify, I broke my foot; the hanger, thankfully, remained unharmed.
So this year, I was going to try to get on top of the ball early. It’s still early-ish, right? Sure.
To potential employers, consider the following my formal application:
Nearly-20-year-old seeks summer employment.
After a previous run-in with retail, she vows never again to return to the fashion world. Unless that’s what you’re offering, in which case she will be forced to consider it.
Skills include (but are certainly not limited to):
-Crossword puzzles, as long as they’re from Monday or Tuesday
-Biking one-handed to enable coffee drinking on the go
-Hide and seek (at 5’1”, I fit into all sorts of little hiding spots)
-Once held the record for most popular Yak on Notre Dame’s Yik Yak (I realize that isn’t a skill, but I would like to think it speaks to my wicked sense of humor. At least, that’s what my mom says).
Interested? Let me know.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.