It goes without saying that I never had much of a basketball career. At (almost) 5-foot-1, I’m never even going to touch the net unless I’m either on a ladder or the shoulders of someone tall enough to actually play competitive basketball.
Of course, like the dutiful Catholic school kid I was, I trudged through six years of CYO basketball; my career peaked early, when in third grade, I stole the ball and, clearly confused, decided to sit on it instead of go for the open shot. Yes, I literally sat on a basketball in the middle of a play.
Anyway, I think that’s probably the reason I’ve always been fascinated by people who are really good at the sport, and in turn, why I absolutely love March Madness.
No, really, I do; it’s my favorite sporting event of the entire year. I love the stress and the last-minute comebacks and the upsets and the somewhat ridiculous fast pace that it tends to take upon itself.
Unfortunately, that enthusiasm doesn’t quite translate into an ability to accurately pick who’s going to win; that skill seems to have evaded me.
Last year proved a particularly horrendous year for brackets and my pride.
Having come in last in my family pool, I faced ridicule for weeks from my three sisters and doting parents, who made me make them food as punishment for my sporty ineptitude.
I even managed to lose to the family dog, who has a brain the size of a shriveled-up clementine. How the dog managed to predict the outcome of basketball games with any hint of accuracy deals in animal psychology far beyond what I learned in BIOS 10117.
As it turned out last year, the only pool I didn’t come dead last in was The Observer’s group …
… though to be fair, the only people I beat had turned in empty brackets.
But I didn’t lose. So I’ve decided that if I’m going to hit it big this year, it’s going to be this group. With these people. So far, so good. Well, so far, okay. I’m currently tied with seven others for a solid 18th place. But I have faith in this bracket, and I have faith in my teams, and I think we’re going to pull through. I’ll be sure to keep you updated.
Observer staff, I give you fair warning. I’m coming for you, and at the risk of sounding vaguely dramatic, I’m hungry for victory.
