Finals week procrastination guide
Miko Malabute | Tuesday, April 28, 2015
So here we are once again: finals week. The time where you buckle down, become super efficient, freshen up on a semester’s worth of material, constantly pour over old exams and quizzes and lectures and … well, if you’re anything like me the thought of it all is truly daunting. So, if you’re anything like me, you’ll turn to your trusty study tool — procrastination. Here are some TV series and movies to check out during finals week because let’s face it, what else are you supposed to do? Study?
Yes, finals are upon us, but honestly, people are making way too much of it. Look at it this way: you’re trying to get through a semester’s worth of material in a week. Inconvenient? Yes. Stressful? It sure is. But try being Billy Madison, he whizzed through elementary, middle and high school in a matter of months, finishing each grade in a couple of weeks. Imagine nonstop cumulative finals every two weeks? So sit back and relax, you’ll have time to study later.
Okay, by this point you’ve wasted more time than you would probably care to admit. Your first final is tomorrow but one thing turned into another and here you are with a daunting task and limited time. As you grow desperate your final exam outlook grows darker, so you open a darker show. Like anti-hero Walter White, you’ve likely adopted the “by any means” mindset. Maybe you’ve even turned to using and abusing some chemicals to stay awake and power through all those lecture notes — I’m talking about 5-Hour Energy shots and Monster Energy drinks, of course. Don’t fret because those exams will realize that you are indeed the one that knocks. Yeah, science. Magnets, oh.
“Game of Thrones”
How many hours have you been up straight? How many nights have you spent watching all those hour-long episodes of “Breaking Bad” and, maybe, occasionally looking at some old powerpoint slides from class? Those long nights in the library basement are getting colder and colder … brace yourself, finals are coming. Similarly to the different kingdoms of “Game of Thrones,” it’s going to take meticulous planning, careful strategy and a bit of luck in order to make it through this dreadful week.
You’re physically, mentally and emotionally spent from the grind of the school year. You need a break. Whether it’s the countless hours you’ve spent staring at a computer screen (either dedicated to reviewing for your finals or to binge watching) or the Vitamin-D deprivation you’re experiencing from being holed up in the library, the thought of summer is the only thing keeping you going. “Grown Ups” is exactly what you need: a nice, easy-to-watch summer film. Also, it’s pretty much guaranteed that once you hear the phrase, “I want to get chocolate wasted,” you’ll treat yourself to a nice healthy portion of chocolate. After all, you’ve worked hard — you deserve it.
The light at the end of the tunnel … kind of. Realistically, by the end of finals week you’re over everything. You’ve mailed it in and, just like all of our favorite employees at Dunder Mifflin, you’re waiting for the clock to strike so that you can clock out and go home. In the truest sense of procrastination, fire up your favorite episodes of “The Office” and appreciate the masterful work (or lack thereof) of Michael Scott, waiting for his free pretzel on Pretzel Day; maybe plan out a few pranks in the spirit of Jim Halpert, instead of actually, you know, doing work. Summer’s just around the corner, it’s not a matter of if, but when.