Tomorrow afternoon, you’re going to be in your living room, watching the San Diego Padres play the Dodgers on KCAL 9. Adrian Gonzalez is going to hit a home run and give his team the lead, and you’ll tell yourself, “Wow, the Padres are a pretty exciting team to watch. I think I’m going to start following them!” You do. You buy a Padres hat on Amazon later that week, and you're now tied to them for the rest of your life.
It makes sense that you would. You want to be unique. The Dodgers look like a classless organization, and you want to be able to rub it in your friends’ faces when the Padres beat them in the postseason race. Well, sorry to break the news, but there is no postseason for the Padres. In fact, there’s only going to be one winning season in the next seven years.
The next few years will be tough. The Padres are going to trade your favorite pitcher, Jake Peavy, to the Chicago White Sox for a set of pitchers that never pan out. He’s pitching in San Francisco right now. Adrian Gonzalez will go to the Red Sox, and, ironically, end up as a Dodger. Your favorite closers are going to go away, too. Trevor Hoffman sets the all-time saves record as a Milwaukee Brewer. Heath Bell and his on-field shenanigans will end up in Miami.
For some godforsaken reason, Tim Lincecum just loves pitching no-hitters against the Padres. And yeah, we still haven’t had anyone hit for the cycle or pitch a no-hitter.
Your friends and your dad will say, “Mike, maybe you should go find another team.” And you will. And silly you will make the Toronto Blue Jays your favorite American League team, the team that has failed, and will continue to fail, to reach the postseason for 21 years.
But even with all these things, I’m not telling you to change your fandom.
You will learn to be humble about wins. You will learn to accept the disappointments in your life and look forward to the future. If you can handle the Padres losing the playoff slot to the Giants on the final game of the season, you can handle all the little things in your life.
You’ll learn that things really do get better. With some recent trades and acquisitions, I think the Padres have finally returned to some relevance. This is the most exciting the Padres have ever been since you became a fan, and I feel it’s so important to tell you that good times are ahead.
And even if the Padres don’t win this year, that’s fine. There’s always a reward for dedication.
At least you’re not a Cubs fan.
