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Thursday, March 28, 2024
The Observer

A #LondonFashionWeek Plebeian

#LFW_WEB
LAUREN WELDON | The Observer


My first attempt to join in the #LFW activities whilst studying abroad in The Fashion Capital began with booking some tickets. I am sort of the ticket booking queen, so when my fingers realized their work could translate into real paper London Fashion Week tickets (or at least mobile tickets that magically end up in the Passbook app that I can never find because I put it in some folder like I’m organized and do things like that), they went crazy.

The first place they landed me was on Twitter at 6 a.m. because things like that happen when you share a flat with nine roommates and have a lofted bed. You don’t want to be the inconsiderate one who leaves her alarm on her desk *shade thrown* forcing everyone to freak out that their own iPhone alarm is sounding until you climb down, so you sleep with your phone under your pillow like any good millennial.

And like the good millennial that I am, the “While You Were Away” tweets that appeared on my timeline were cryptic lists of cities from none other than Kanye West. Deciphering from the 7-second sewing machine video that there would be a live stream of his new fashion line and seeing on that list of cities that Yeezy season was approachin’ Londontown, I started scheming ways to experience London Fashion Week.

Things I learned as a connectionless, Midwestern fan girl attempting to experience London Fashion Week:

  1. It’s okay to go down “The College Dropout” path if skipping class gets you a ticket with the name “Yeezy” on it and the closest experience you have to your first runway show. Here's what I learned:
  • People attend runway shows late, even though you just left class early and ran through the rain to get to a screening.
  • People bring in coffee and food despite being around nice clothes, which could easily result in a very expensive disaster.
  • You will feel like you just passed some BuzzFeed quiz on pop culture relevancy when you can name-drop the entire front row in conversation.
  • The best audience fashion was the guy who sat in front of me at the screening in glow-in-the-dark printed pants
  1. If you have an opportunity to eat pulled pork while making a pom-pom, do it. Even if your friends stand you up, you’ll make new friends and new pom-poms!
  1. Dress up for you. You might waltz around London in what you consider “bomb, street style bait” to no result besides a “four-eyes” catcall on the street. Take that flashback to third grade bullies and fuel your day’s aesthetic: Rompers and Four-Eyes: A Tribute To Grade School Fashion.
  1. If you get up, scroll Instagram and see that your inspiration/idol is at Dinearama (approx. 30 minutes away) YOU GET ON A BUS. You get off the bus. You walk in and scour every table. You come to terms with the sad rom-com ending of a missed connection and continue to explore London.
  1. While exploring London, buy sequins with no regrets. But when you inevitably also buy stall food, save half of it for tomorrow’s lunch since you just spent your sandwich money on sequins.
  1. Take it all in. Go stand outside venues. Meet other bloggers, journalists and fashion enthusiasts to better your network/friends/Instagram feed. Dream about being photographed for street style (even though you’re carrying your leftover food in a plastic bag and can’t afford to set that down). Vow to come back minus the statement bag.
  1. Follow through on your vows. Bring some sequins in your backpack to class. Go to the basement bathroom of school, change into a bedazzled bustier and drape a sequin jacket over your shoulders. Wait for your friend in the lobby while trying to avoid eye contact with your Theology professor. Realize your friend is standing you up because it’s raining — this is London — and sassily throw up your umbrella and strut out.
  1. Let yourself think you’re the sh*t every time someone asks for your picture. Appreciate fashion folk and people who compliment your outfit instead of yelling “four-eyes” at you. Realize you are where you want to be. Get tempted to call your mom at this realization, but remember that you are incapable because Drake didn’t give you the code to the Wi-Fi.
  1. Back up when security tells you to back up — but if you see the writer that you incessantly stalked just yesterday, GO GET HER. You are that hot guy in a John Hughes classic, she is Molly Ringwald. Walk up to her. Strike up a largely incoherent, adrenaline-fueled conversation. Mention Kanye and the Midwest a lot. Wish you could have taken #LFW to have meant #LostForWords instead of going on about whatever you just did. Try to call your parents, but again, you can’t call anyone, and your phone is dead anyway. At least you got the selfie!
  1. Take the tickets you’re handed. Find the venues. Ask people who they are. Take photographs. Stunt. Wear sunglasses at night like a boss because their mirrored lenses complete your outfit/new found identity.