Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
Friday, April 19, 2024
The Observer

Girls vs. bugs

Week eight into the school year, my lousy immune system finally decided it was time for me to be sick. This Saturday, I skipped the game in order to get better, before my cold got worse.

11 a.m., I hear a buzz, not a buzz of a fly, but something else. I awoke from my very light sleep to see a stinkbug just feet away from my bed. Now, I am not one to get all hot and heated over a bug, but I label stinkbugs in a different category. Usually, as long as they keep their distance (outside) we have no problems, but when they are in my room — no, no, no, we’re not doing that. I grabbed a blanket, my pillow, my stuffed animal and sought shelter elsewhere.

I waited for my roommate to get back from the game to assess the situation. Before I left my room I counted three bugs, and when she got back, there were two, meaning one was hiding.

We scavenged for a vacuum. One bug was on our blinds, and the other in the corner of our window. We thought about what would be our most strategic option. We didn’t know how smart of bugs we were working with here. What if one saw us suck the other one up and it retaliated against us? We simply could not afford to play hide and seek with another one.

Being the Halloween enthusiasts we are, we have polyester spider webs in front of our windows, adding an extra factor to the hunt. We decided to approach it head on, literally. From a safe distance, under the webs, we pointed the vacuum tube and in the bug went. We hollered with victory as we examined it still crawling inside. We assured it that its friend was going to join shortly and then we would release them into the wild. Yes, we actually did tell it this.

We went through a hole in the webs to get its friend, we pointed and went forth. Unable to see if it went in, my roommate retracted the nozzle. It was still in its same spot; we looked at each other, then back at it, then at each other again. She repeated. It stayed plastered on the wall. This bug was relentless.

We looked around the room, thinking of supplies we could scavenge. We gathered a plastic knife, some duct tape and the stick of the vacuum. As we were making our stinkbug catching contraption, we see our little friend scuttle behind our blinds, leaving only its little legs visible. Maybe we actually did have some smart bugs on our hands.

We took our sticky knife and wiggled into the crevice, catching one of its legs, he fell onto the windowsill belly-up allowing us to suck him up. We took them outside and released them. As picture perfect as this sounds, it is not yet over. We still have one lurking around. We have high spirits that we will find it and are able to reunite it with its friends.

So, instead of taking a personal day watching football and laying in my bed, I let three bugs constitute my relaxation. As Notre Dame battled Navy on the field, I was battling bugs in my room.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.