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viewpoint

Presidential candidates as football teams

| Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Donald Trump — Clemson University

Seemingly unbeatable. No matter what happens, whether it be his stance that all Muslims in the country should be registered or his mocking of a physically disabled reporter, he somehow always seems to slip away and stay on top. No one believed he would be topping the polls for this long, but it seems to be the real deal now. It will be interesting to see how he handles himself once he has to go head-to-head with the big guys.

Hillary Clinton — University of Alabama

A Clinton’s at the top again? This seems to be the case every time the rankings come out. People are starting to get tired of the Clinton brand and are kind of just rooting against it at this point. Nevertheless, you have to admit that she has been pretty impressive. Despite a huge setback due to the scandal over her private email server and a close call in the Benghazi hearings, she’s rallied a huge amount of support and seems to be the candidate to beat. She really just plays on a higher level sometimes.

Ben Carson — University of Iowa

Who saw this coming? Carson, an amazing neuroscientist and decent public speaker, had no real record before this year but has seen an astonishing amount of support nonetheless. While his wins have not been too impressive, he’s still in the race when it matters most and has avoided any true losses. He may not have what it takes to go the whole way though.

Marco Rubio — Oklahoma University

The young, handsome senator from Florida seems to be poised to go places. Although he had a huge loss early on in his handling of immigration reform in the Senate, he has been solid ever since then and appears to be the real deal. Momentum is certainly going in his direction.

Ted Cruz — Michigan State University

Similar to Rubio, Cruz is well-positioned right now but may not make it the whole way. He can clearly play with the big boys and strongly appeals to a big segment of the Republican party. Let’s see if he can hop Rubio.

Bernie Sanders — University of North Carolina

Although it didn’t seem possible at first, Bernie has been on a huge winning streak. As a democratic socialist, he’s not the most conventional candidate, but he’s here, and he might just be able to rally enough votes to get into the big game. Although he’s a long shot, you truly never know with him.

Chris Christie — Stanford University

Christie’s name is always in contention. As a conservative governor in a liberal state, he has been able to get a lot done. Although he hasn’t always looked like the best candidate, he shines when it matters and is not out of the picture just yet. He’s had a few impressive wins lately and may just be able to pull it off. Don’t hold your breath though.

Jeb Bush — University of Notre Dame

Oh Jeb, how we pain for you. With the support of his family’s strong, nationwide brand, his super PAC’s huge endowment and his desire to be a middle-of-the-aisle Republican who could bring in the Hispanic vote, he had an incredible amount of potential. However, a string of injuries ultimately brought him down, despite a valiant effort. Although he has almost no shot at making it to the final game, he is still a formidable candidate.

Carly Fiorina — Naval Academy

You gotta love Carly. As the only female candidate in the GOP race, she adds a nice dimension to the Republican field and allows them to show how inclusive their message can be. There was a time when it even seemed she was going somewhere, but after failing to keep her momentum, she has now all but dropped from being a contender.

George Pataki, Lindsey Graham and Jim Gilmore — University of Houston

Yeah, I didn’t really know they were a thing either.

Joe Biden — Louisiana State University

When Biden was considering entering the race, it seemed like it would be a disaster for Hillary. He was able to rally a lot more excitement and had a much deeper record than the former First Lady. Nevertheless, it all fell apart, and now he’s not even in the race. And look where Hillary is.

Martin O’Malley — University of Central Florida

Why does he even bother showing up anymore? It’s clear this is headed nowhere, and it’s somewhat embarrassing at this point. He hasn’t been able to notch a win this entire year and it doesn’t seem like one is coming anytime soon.

Not receiving votes – Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, John Kasich and Rick Santorum

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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  • Mr. Pockets

    This is brilliant xD
    I kinda love that we’re JEB! though xD