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Summer job search

| Tuesday, April 4, 2017

As the end of the semester approaches, I find myself dreading the annual summer job search. All my summer jobs have ranged from either terrible or leaving after three hours because someone let loose a tarantula.

I have worked at three fast food restaurants, an incompetent pet store and at an office, cleaning cubicles. One summer, I worked at the public library on the children’s floor and dreaded it so much I often hid in the children’s pantomime nonfiction section — someplace the kids never went. Most days I would simply have to help knock-kneed preteens find the Harry Potter books, but other days I would have to dodge thrown Lego blocks or calm down a child throwing a tantrum because his math tutor dared to teach him multiplication. After I had successfully dodged a thrown notebook, his mother put her foot down and said she was taking away his iPad privileges for a month.  

I suppose my worst job was being a summer camp counselor. The camp was rooted in academia and was almost like a summer school for elementary school kids. I had to teach the them all about nature and then some, much to the dismay of every child whose parents forced them to be there. Some days they all looked so sad I just let them play wiffle ball all day. I was a cool camp counselor.

Besides the unflattering khaki capris I was forced to wear, the job was not so bad. Sure, sometimes when I thought one of the little kids was reaching to hold my hand they were just wiping boogers in my shirt, but other times I had a lot of fun. I taught the kids about different types of flowers and about the importance of conservation. Once, we all found a really neat bug.

Of course, the job was not always harmlessly fun. The camp was at an arboretum, a huge expanse of wilderness. Naturally, camper safety was of the utmost importance, which is why full troops mobilized when, in mid-July, a little girl got lost in the woods. I was so focused on finding this little girl that I persistently traveled deep into the unmapped area of the arboretum. For two hours, I traipsed every inch of the woods but still did not find the missing girl.

It was later revealed to me that the little girl was found within twenty minutes of being lost, and the rest of the two hours was spent searching for me, who had also become lost. I myself had to be rescued, by my boss nonetheless, and not by an attractive forest ranger.

I guess should start my summer job search soon. I’m not sure what job I will find this summer, but I do know it will be interesting. It always is.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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