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Defending Carroll Hall

Observer Viewpoint | Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Emily Pike’s response to yesterday’s “Question of the Day” was a well-intentioned attempt at humor, but it remains a glaring example of the blatant dormism all too common at Notre Dame today.

For those unfamiliar with the situation, Ms. Pike suggested that Notre Dame should settle with the tribe suing over western campus land by giving it Carroll Hall. There has been no worse idea in the history of the University.

First and foremost, during our current war on terrorism, Carroll Hall plays a vital role in securing the western front of the University. Without Carroll, invaders from highway 31 could storm campus unchecked by resistance until they had already taken the Grotto. Moreover, cars in the D6 lot closest to Carroll are rarely vandalized, thanks to Carroll’s vigilant watch and by virtue of their relative distance from the rest of everything.

For incoming freshmen, Carroll serves as a bastion of hope. Thanks to Carroll’s small size, men can hope that they will not find themselves living in the most remote location on campus. For others, Carroll serves as inspiration: how amazing that 100 men can commute back and forth to class tirelessly, day in and day out. For more still, Carroll is an ideal, a goal. All students can dream that, perhaps one day, they too can find the strength, energy, and will to make the trek to the House On The Lake.

Yes, I agree with Ms. Pike: Carroll would be a most generous settlement gift. No recipient could help but to be impressed with our lakefront property and stunning view of the Dome, Basilica and Grotto.

Our spacious hallways, vaulted ceilings, volleyball court and precious Golden Tee arcade machine say, “We want to settle this lawsuit in a manner that is more than fair and charitable.”

Convenient parking lot access and our nearby personal helicopter pad courtesy of WNDU are just icing on the cake. But that’s neither here nor there.

Emily, I am sure you thought your words would float like a butterfly through the minds of those who read them. But please understand that for 100 Carroll Hall Vermin, they sting like a bee.

Ryan GreenbergjuniorCarroll HallJan. 21