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Random Thoughts

Will Puckett | Tuesday, February 24, 2004

So, this one time, at the dining hall …

How many times have you heard that ubiquitous rip-off of the ubiquitous line from that ubiquitous movie? One too few, apparently, so I decided to tell you again.

Speaking of movies, there hasn’t been a really good one out for a while. I don’t work for Scene, so don’t take that as exactly a scathing criticism. All I’m trying to say is that it’s nearly impossible to find a good movie to watch nowadays that doesn’t involve a copyright date of 1985 or something.

Oh yeah, didn’t you hear? The Motion Picture Association of America, in its anti-piracy ventures, has decided to make us all start calling movies by their copyright dates. There’s nothing like talking about “that great copyright ’79 movie with the cool thing,” except for maybe talking about “the even greater copyright ’89 one with the bald guy.” Actually, we’re not even allowed to say “movie” anymore – we have to pay royalties if we do that.

So everyone’s in the middle of midterms, papers and whatnot right now. That would be great, except for the insane number of crazy awesome cool things to do on campus … exactly zero. I think I saw someone sun tanning on the ice on North Quad last weekend from sheer frustration.

Thus, here’s an idea of something to do – take a grape, cut it nearly in half and microwave it. You should get enough amusement out of that to keep you going until spring break finally arrives.

Incidentally, those of you who voted to move your class midterm to the same day I have an eight-page paper due can take spring break early. How about two weeks early? Um, yeah … I’m going to have to ask you to get off campus right now. … If you could just go ahead and make sure you do that, that would be just greeeeaaaat. …

All inanities from copyright 1999 aside, unpredictability is annoying. So how about we make the answers to everyone’s tests all A? That would certainly be a lot more predictable for everyone, even the poor overworked Registrar’s Office.

Ouch, that last thought was too heavy for my brain to handle at the moment. I think I’ll wait about three weeks, and then try it again. Be careful, or it could happen to you – your brain might be frozen that way forever! So here’s to stuff that nobody really knows how to do that we do anyway, I guess. If there was a point to that, somebody please shoot me.