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Heavenly Ham lives up to the name

Megan McFadden and Jessica Stoller | Friday, February 11, 2005

On many of our frequent safaris through the outskirts of Notre Dame, we encounter a curious restaurant called Heavenly Ham. Last Wednesday, after Megan forgot to eat lunch once again, we hopped into the buggy to scour for food. Then we came upon Heavenly Ham and Megan cried “Tis a blessing from above! We must partake in this feast of hamilicious delight!” Well, maybe she really didn’t say that, but Megan does have a thing for ham, always has. Heavenly Ham is a quaint restaurant located on Edison next to a funeral home. It is a great place for a midday lunch delight or secret rendezvous with that special someone. The atmosphere at Heavenly Ham was slightly confusing. I guess you could call it General Store meets fast-food chain. The décor included plenty of red gingham, homemade jams, pickle relish, handmade wooden displays of preserved items and very few tables. A giant Coke dispenser and several large posters encouraging pork product consumption interrupted this “farmy” jungle. The hammy sound of silence at Heavenly Ham was very pleasing, until a loud, constant, 80’s-like ring tone broke the dangling conversation and the superficial sighs. I guess what we’re trying to say is the atmosphere at double H was just ok, about 2.5 sporks out of 5.So now you’re this far into our article, I bet you’re wondering how they serve it up at Heavenly Ham. Since Heavenly Ham mimics many fast-food chains, there really isn’t much service involved in the dining experience. A lone ham artiste crafts your sandwich into an epicurean delight, wraps it in deli paper and gives it to you with glee. There really isn’t much to it (but don’t tell the cashier that). Service was prompt considering only one artiste was on duty. Besides having to fill your own glass with Coke products, the service was friendly and pretty speedy. We’d say 3.5 sporks give or take a prong.Now to our, well mostly Jessica’s, favorite part – THE EATS! Surprisingly, neither of us got ham. Isn’t that silly? Megan ordered a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant and chicken noodle soup. The croissant was very fresh and flaky, sort of like her last boyfriend, and the chicken salad did not disappoint. The soup was tongue-flaming hot, but it was scrumtrulescent. The only thing that was rather disappointing was the high prices. A mere box lunch without a drink could cost up to $8 – oh my! Finance-savvy Jessica decided on half a turkey bistro sandwich with cup of the same chicken noodle soup. Jessica would like to report on the taste of her sandwich, but, sadly, her taste buds were down for the count due to the flaming soup. She did, however, remark it had good texture and was very pleasing to the eye. Considering that we really like how home-cooked the food was, we give the food at H2 5 sporks. Upon leaving Heavenly Ham, the owner locked the door. This could mean one of two things. Either we were such a menace to the ham community for ordering chicken that they never wanted us back again, or they close at 3 p.m. If they close at 3 p.m., that’s really sad. They even turned down a sweet old lady with a genuine ham craving as we were leaving. Based on our taste bud tally, Heavenly Ham is worthy of about 3 and one-third sporks out of five. So if burgers and bagels don’t fit your fancy, don’t fret, because Heavenly Ham is just a hop, skip and a jump away from campus.