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BOOKSTORE BASKETBALL XXXIV: Saltines use height to dominate in 21-4 win

Chris Khorey | Friday, April 8, 2005

Twin towers Brent “Reign Man” Locey and Chris Lund made their presence felt Thursday night at the Bookstore courts.

The pair, who tower over defenders at the height of 6-foot-5, combined for eight points in the Saltines’ 21-4 shellacking of Off In The Shower, a win that may give the Saltines enough momentum to penetrate deep into the tournament.

“We feel our height is a great advantage,” Lund said. “We really think it will take us far in the tournament.”

Saltines fans were equally enthusiastic about the play of their big men.

“Brent Locey, a.k.a. Reign Man, really came to play today,” Saltines supporter Jude Miller said. “His looks were only matched by his shots.”

Also key in the game was Saltine point guard and fan favorite Dan Ott. Ott poured in six points and dished out three assists that drew large cheers from his cheering section in the crowd.

“I think Dan Ott had an excellent performance,” Saltine fan and Dan Ott enthusiast Pat Leimkuehar said. “There were even cries of ‘good shot honey’ from his girlfriend on the sidelines.”

Ott’s girlfriend, Karen Wiborgh, was unavailable for comment.

Off In The Shower struggled offensively all game, committing seventeen turnovers. Their leading scorer was center Mike Telerio with four points. Telerio struggled on the defensive end, however, and was unable to contain Lund and Tocey.

Lund capped the contest with a game-point breakaway dunk after a steal from Ott. The center, who had previously declined dunking on a fast break in favor of a layup, gave his reasoning after the game.

“We were in a hurry to get home and watch ‘The O.C.’, so I thought a dunk was the quickest way to end it,” he said.

The Saltines showed confidence heading into the later rounds of the tournament, despite the fact their next opponent also has two players approaching six-and-a-half feet tall in its lineup.

“Our next opponent has a couple guys who are 6-foot-5, but then again, so do we,” Lund said. “We feel like we’re as talented as any team we’ve seen so far.”

The Miia Experience Featuring Srsen 21, Rob’s Got Game And So Does His Flat Twenty Harem 3

In one of the most dominating defensive performances of the night, The Miia Experience Featuring Srsen blew out Rob’s Got Game And So Does His Flat Twenty Harem 21-3. After the game, Experience captain Miia Rasine and her team began a new victory tradition that they hope will continue for several games.

“I’m going to take them all out for ice cream now,” Rasine said following the final basket.

The Experience scored the first fourteen points of the night, keyed by hot shooting from point guard Mark Srsen, who scored seven points for the game.

The Harem had trouble finding a rhythm on offense and lost confidence after missing several open shots early. The Experience defense was suffocating, forcing 21 turnovers.

After the game, Experience players were humble, playing down their dominating performance.

“It was a hard fought battle from start to finish despite the score,” Srsen said. “The other team fought hard. It was a lot of fun to play against them.”

Srsen also expressed reservations about his team’s chances to advance beyond the next round.

“I’d say we have a 25 percent chance, depending on who we play,” he said.

But experienced forward Mark Hubrty was more confident.

“I’m going to dunk on [Irish varsity quarterback] Brady [Quinn],” he said.

Hubrty did not dunk during Thursday night’s game.

Black Wall Street 21,

Promise Billing 16

The Black Wall Street versus Promise Billing game featured the most heartwarming comeback story of the young Bookstore Basketball tournament. BWS shooting guard Kevin Fussner returned to Bookstore action for the first time since losing a nipple in action last year in the 21-16 Black Wall Street win.

“Last year at Bookstore we were playing shirts and skins and I took a dive and actually lost part of my nipple,” Fussner said. “Luckily, it grew back since.”

Fussner played valiantly through the pain that fateful day, but it was not enough.

“We ended up losing that game,” he said. “This was my first game since losing the nipple. It was hard to overcome that.”

Promise Billing forward Nicole Gill felt Fussner’s injury might turn out to be a disadvantage for BWS.

“We thought we’d have an advantage because their team only had nine nipples,” she said.

As a show of good faith and sympathy for Fussner’s injury, the Promisers invited BWS over for a pre-game get together. However, the proceedings turned sour when two Black Wall Street players did not show up.

“It wasn’t fair. Two of their players skipped out on our pre-game festivities,” Promise Billing point guard Megan Miller said.

The flap over the pre-game meeting turned the game testy early. Miller went down with a bloody nose midway through the first half but returned to action and went on to score six points.

“It really hurt, but I sacrificed for the team,” Miller said of her injury.

Promise Billing kept the game close with hot outside shooting, a skill Miller says the team had practiced frequently by bookstore standards.

“We worked on [our shooting] for six weeks in practice, every day,” she said.

Black Wall Street opened the game in a zone defense but quickly abandoned it when Promise Billing got hot from the outside.

“We started in the 2-3 zone to conserve energy, but it didn’t really work,” he said. “They started hitting outside shots and we had nothing.”

Promise Billing eventually cooled down, however, and the game became mired in defense. All in all, it took over an hour to play.

However, Fussner said the long duration of play did not bother him.

“I didn’t realize it took an hour. It was fun,” he said. “But I was winded the whole time.”

Promise Billing brought out their special “suit jacket and tie” uniforms for the big game in an attempt to gain extra motivation. Promisers fan Claire Ferris explained the significance of the special uniforms.

“We’re playing Black Wall Street, so we thought we’d fake them out a little by wearing suit jackets and ties,” Ferris said. “It’s reverse psychology.”

Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Name Of Our Team So We Wouldn’t Get Sued 21, We Heart Spooning 7

Although We Heart Spooning was fired up going into their game with Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Name Of Our Team So We Wouldn’t Get Sued, it was not enough to stop the athleticism of the Unsued.

The Spooners bounced onto the court yelling and firing up the crowd at the beginning of the game, only to fall behind 11-1 at halftime and go on to lose 21-7.

Unsued captain and small forward Tom Meyer attributed his team’s victory to their unusual training techniques.

“We spooned a lot,” he said. “We love spooning. They say they heart spooning, but we must like it more.”

Also key to the Unsued victory was the play of center Matt Bold. Bold, who wears an afro wig while competing, scored six points in the contest.

“The fro gives him an extra couple inches,” Meyer said.

Bold said the hair has further significance as well.

“It’s for character, but it’s also performance enhancing,” Bold said. “When I wear it, I can fly. The air gets up underneath it and lifts me off.”

After Bold and the Unsued jumped out to a quick lead, the Spooners played even with them for much of the second half. Unfortunately, they went cold again when the score reached 18-7. The Unsued then scored three straight for the win.