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Squirrel haikus

Dan Tapetillo | Monday, April 18, 2005

After suffering a long, cold winter, spring has finally made its way to South Bend. What this means is we only have three weeks left to celebrate the return of the sun before having to return home.Some people have already chosen to spend their time hanging out with friends on the quad, while others have decided to go to the Stepan fields and play volleyball and soccer. One suggestion I have to commemorate this special occasion is something that I also find to be highly cathartic – writing haikus.But don’t just write your typical three lined, 5-7-5 syllable, nature themed haikus that we all learned about in the fifth grade. They must all be centered on one of the most fascinating creatures the Notre Dame wildlife has to offer – squirrels.In this column, I have taken it upon myself to share 10 of my own squirrel haikus (and one last one from a friend) to show the endless possibilities a three-lined poem can have.But before reading them, there is one thing I must clarify. I use the word ‘squirrel’ in several of these haikus, and it is not one, but two syllables according to Webster.com.So if you are one of those individuals who firmly believes it is only one, all I ask is for you to look beyond this small dilemma and appreciate the beauty of the haiku.

Oh squirrel, you rockTo love you is so, so sweetDon’t eat trash squirrels

Squirrel, you’re so fatYou fall from branches a lotDon’t die squirrel, don’t!

Scruffy, your fur’s goneA huge spot out of your buttDon’t be self-conscious

Winter stopped matingBut now you chase everythingSpring is in full swing

You bit my hand, why?Friend, what did I do to you?You should be locked up

A hawk attacked youYou couldn’t stop the peckingSquirrel, he ate you

You jumped on my backAfter smelling chips in my bagI screamed like a girl

You move so slowlyDon’t become road kill, squirrelLife is too precious

Jackie Chan styleTwo squirrels fought for ice creamSquirrels – learn to love!

DomesticatedYou eat food out of my palmYou love me, don’t you?

Squirrels and studentsMan and animal are friendsWe should live in peace-LP

I hope my haikus have inspired you to go out and create your own masterpieces.