People bite people. It's a fact, folks.
Human-to-human biting permeates all realms of society, from domestic disputes to Hollywood cinema to professional boxing - listing all instances would be a mouthful - the problem goes wholly unnoticed by the masses.
On Wednesday, the White Plains, New York man who gnawed off a portion of his girlfriend's cheek - that's a facial cheek, you crazy kids - was sentenced to 15 years in prison after his distraught lover put forth a chilling testimony in court.
He just bit off more than he could chew.
"When I was bitten and my flesh was spat at me, more than my face was damaged," she told members of the jury.
Indeed, the emotional trauma associated with oral assaults is sometimes deeper than the wound itself. Victims of biting incidents are often forever changed by the event, refusing the kiss of a potential mate, or worse, the necessary mouth-to-mouth resuscitation during a time of emergency.
The 1975 thriller "Jaws" instilled a deep-seeded fear in the general public of shark bites. Rabies-infested raccoons, dogs, mosquitoes - these are all things people fear will bite them. Add to that list people.
Mike Tyson - biter.
Hannibal Lecter - biter.
University President Father John Jenkins - probably not a biter.
Forget what your mother told you at your third grade Halloween party. Vampires, in one form or another, exist. And they are chomping at the bit to get a piece of you.
The pervasiveness of human biting might surprise you. The Web site emedicinehealth.com devotes an entire section to such injuries.
"A human bite is generally obvious, but on occasion the victim is unaware - for example, the bite occurred while the victim was drunk -or reluctant to tell others," a Web site description said.
E-medicine Health added that some bites might not be easy to classify as intentional because "there is not a conscious decision on the part of the biter."
No kidding.
The next time you are getting a hickey from a semi-conscious SMC chick at TC, realize that you are a skin-break away from becoming a victim to this brutal and tragic trend.
Just remember, you have a better chance of being bitten by two different people over the course of 24 hours than winning the lottery.
So the next time you're drooling over possible Powerball winnings, keep in mind that someone could be drooling over you.
