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Game times

Ken Fowler | Monday, February 5, 2007

6:17 p.m.: William Joel sounds mediocre singing the national anthem.

6:21: Ford commercial. “I like to live on the edge.” Unoriginality leads to minus 13 mega-bonus points.

6:22: CBS game preview with the same music as Oldie Olderson’s post-Army highlight reel. Sweet.

6:23: Jim Nantz introduces the captains, Laura Hunt and Dan Marino. Nantz mistakenly tries to turn the coverage over to Peter Oosterhouse on Amen corner.

6:24: Nantz introduce Tony Kirinty as the head referee for the game. Apparently Ed Hochuli is off tonight. Immediately, Brian Urlacher claims title of most jacked person at the game.

6:26: Phil Simms appears on screen. If he’s an egotist, he’ll mention how he went 22-of-25 for 268 yards and how two of his incompletions were drops. But he’s not, so he doesn’t.

6:27: As Jim Nantz makes the first reference to Devin Hester going to college at Miami and how Indy has trouble covering kickoffs, Hester finishes the sentence by going 92 yards for the score. Memories of Glendale enter the mind.

6:29: Rex Grossman appears on the highlights, proclaiming the glory of God for allowing Peyton Manning to be the first quarterback to have to take a snap tonight. “I can’t mess up on the sidelines.”

6:30: Jamal Lewis’ second consecutive kickoff return for a touchdown in Super Bowl XXXV stands as the only such score.

6:31: Peyton Manning nearly pulls a Rex Grossman. Grossman sits on the sideline handing a small chicken over to the Colts’ masseuse.

6:32: Nathan Vasher makes Peyton Manning look like Reggie Ball.

6:34: Chris Harris intercepts Peyton Manning’s third pass attempt of the night. Manning is now 0-for-3 with two deflections and an interception. Bears fans rejoice. Grossman cheers, then freezes, realizing, “Crap, that means I have to go in.”

6:35: Bud Light makes a good first impression with the Rocks-Paper-Scissors ad.

6:37: Grossman completes his first pass for six yards. His passer rating is 91.67.

6:38: Grossman gets plowed and nearly throws a interception on third-and-four.

6:39: SalesGenie.com pays $2.6 million for 30 seconds on the Super Bowl. They pay $2.60 for a writer and producer.

6:41: The game truly begins.