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Ten Songs for Solitary Singles

Tae Andrews | Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I know what you’re thinking. You’re sitting in your dorm room, playing Halo if you happen to be a guy, or doing whatever it is that girls do in their free time (playing with Barbies?). Meanwhile, you’re looking wistfully out your window at the merry couples frolicking in quad snow, wishing that you weren’t a victim of Notre Dame’s estranged gender relations and had a special person to share Valentine’s Day with. Well fear not, for the friendly folks here at the Observer Scene Section have compiled the perfect playlist for you to take your mind off of your V-day blues. On a day renamed by some as Singles Awareness Day, there’s no need for you to stay sad – get glad! Or mad, depending on how you like to cope with your failures regarding the opposite gender. Either way, here are some tunes to keep that chin up. Who needs love, anyway?

“Complicated” – Avril Lavigne

As a teeny-bopper wannabe-rock star, Avril Lavigne is clearly the heir apparent to angry female artists such as Alanis Morisette, poised and ready in the wings to take over the title of “Most Disgruntled Female Star on the Planet.” This heartfelt track goes into depth about the complexities of trying to reconcile adolescent romance with the social challenges of being cool.

“You Are So Last Summer” – Taking Back Sunday

Nothing says, “this relationship is over and I’m in no way bitter at all” than using some valley-girl speak to tell off your ex. Using such lyrics as “You could slit my throat / And with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shoes,” this song will be sure to keep that tail droopy, Eeyore. Remember, you can’t spell “mope” without “e-m-o.”

“Ain’t No Sunshine” – Bill Withers

This track by the serendipitously-named Bill Withers will let you feel right at home as you wither and waste away in your dorm room. Interestingly enough, “Ain’t No Sunshine” could also be a fitting comment to describe the current fresh-air situation here on campus. Seasonal Affective Disorder? Singles Awareness Day? Coincidence? Probably not. Either way, you’re SAD.

“My Paper Heart” – The All-American Rejects

Feeling insecure in your relationship? Time to embrace some emo. Take refuge with these Rejects, who not only revel in their exalted loser status, but feel compelled enough to share their lack of luck in love with the rest of the free world.

“Let Her Cry” – Hootie and the Blowfish

Sometimes the best way to get over a painful breakup is to take it out on the next person who has the misfortune of crossing paths with you. So here’s to letting her down hard, gentlemen.

“Jude Law and a Semester Abroad” – Brand New

Girlfriend studying abroad? Take comfort by celebrating your insecurities with this song, in which college-aged frat boys wax poetic about the pain of their unrequited love from overseas ex-girlfriends.

“Layla” – Eric Clapton

Despite your Facebook stalking and awkward forays on the quad, does that special someone in your life rebuff your every advance? Enter “Layla,” Eric Clapton’s song about the most famously ruthless female of all time. So the next time you find that your unicorn has “got you on your knees,” feel a sense of compatriotism with Mr. Clapton.

“I Want You To Want Me” – Cheap Trick

This one’s pretty straightforward, but unlike the kill-yourself ethos of the emo genre, the song manages to stay fairly upbeat with a hip, old-school rock sentiment. Play this track if you’re trying to say, “I like you, but I’m not desperate.”

“Respect” – Aretha Franklin

The anthem of scorned women everywhere, this classic simultaneously allows women to stand up for themselves while expressing female solidarity, much as the Spice Girls did several decades later with their hit, “If You Wanna Be My Lover.” If you’re looking for a little added backbone, feel free to throw this one on and feel better about yourself.

“Cry Me A River” – Justin Timberlake

Perhaps nothing speaks more about unreturned romance than the poppy sensibilities of a former boy band head honcho. Best of all, listening to the high-pitched mourning of JT will allow you to bust out some sweet choreography to Timbaland’s unique beats. As the saying goes, cry yourself a river, then build a bridge and get over it.

Contact Tae Andrews at [email protected]

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.