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Friday, April 19, 2024
The Observer

A series of unfortunate events

I went to sleep late and when I woke up this morning I got tangled up in my bed sheets and the loft's ladder and I fell off the bed and landed on my right ankle and I made a noise loud enough to wake up my roommate and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

My roommate Alexa called NDSP and soon three firemen came to our room but I couldn't get up from the floor to change my clothes or brush my teeth because my ankle hurt too much so they saw me in my ugliest pajamas and carried me down the lobby and to Health Services with bad breath. I think I'll move to Australia.

The nurse looked at my X-rays and said I had a nasty sprain and a hairline fracture and she gave me crutches and then I asked as a joke if it was a bad idea to go dancing at Fever and drink until spraining my left ankle. She didn't even answer.

By the time I returned to McGlinn it was noon and I hadn't showered and smelled like Ben Gay so I hopped in to take a bath and forgot I had scheduled a phone interview about my summer internship at that time. I knew I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

On my long walk from McGlinn to DeBartolo it was raining and I remembered my freshman year living in Walsh and its central location and I wondered if air conditioning was worth the switch to McGlinn because the distance factor was only adding to my excruciating pain. Next week I'm moving to Australia.

I finally arrived at DeBartolo only to realize the class I had rushed to catch had been let out early and I went to the bathroom to see why my arms and upper body hurt so much.

I lifted my shirt and the area under my arm was red and my friend Goose told me I shouldn't place the weight of my body on the arm support bar but rather on the hand bar. I think tomorrow I'll be bruised as if someone had dropkicked me. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I thought I would check Televisionwithoutpity.com to read about Monday's episode of "24," which I missed and didn't tape, but at least I could always read the summary online. For the first time since I can recall, however, Televisionwithoutpity.com was down and I couldn't get my daily fix of Hollywood with a twist of sarcasm. I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Dinner was out of the question because I had to work at The Observer all night so I got Grab-n-Go. I don't need to tell you why this only contributed to my bad day.

My friend Liz told me "Model Behavior," a Disney Channel original movie starring Justin Timberlake in his *NSYNC days was on, but I knew no one at The Observer would want to watch it so I repressed my guilty pleasure and realized there's no freedom of expression at Notre Dame if I can't tell everyone I still pray for an *NSYNC reunion without fearing rolling eyes.

Maybe I could move to Australia and away from the anti boy-band Scrooges.

My mother, however, called while I was at work and said I just said that because I had a bad day and that some days are like that - even in Australia.