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Power trips

Ken Fowler | Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The definitive, wholly subjective list of Notre Dame’s most powerful alumni:1. Condoleezza Rice – For being the first female secretary of state to earn a postgraduate degree from a Catholic institution in the Midwest.2t. University President Father John Jenkins – For running one of the premier Catholic institutions in the country.2t. University President Emeritus Father Theodore Hesburgh – For having the most awe-inspiring office view in Indiana – and access to No. 1.4. Charlie Weis – For running an operation that brings in nearly $70 million each year and helps produce a profit of more than $20 million to be used for the academy.5. Richard Notebaert – For stabilizing Qwest and directing the Notre Dame Board of Trustees.6. Jeff Faine – This NFL center is definitely “powerful.” (Just Google his image.)7. Joe O’Neill – For having the ear of President Bush and, allegedly, introducing the president to First Lady Laura Bush.8. Steve Bartman – For single-handedly (or, alternatively, with help from a certain shortstop) keeping the Curse of the Billy Goat alive.9. Anne Thompson – For her environmental reporting for NBC News.10. Rep. Peter King – For his position as a ranking member on the Homeland Security Committee.11. Tim Roemer – For his work on the 9/11 Commission. 12. Former Panamanian President Ernesto Perez Balladares – For his influence in his home country and elsewhere in the Americas.13. Mike Coffey – For feeding addictions.14. Bob Golic – For his exemplary, oft-cited and critically acclaimed acting in “Saved by the Bell: The College Years.”15. Mike Golic – For being the brother of Bob Golic.16. Chris Thomas – For being a basketball megastar.17. Alan Page – For his work on the Minnesota State Supreme Court.18. Nicholas Sparks – For writing “The Notebook” (which made me cry).19. Patrick J. Borchers – For his insightful analysis and service to Creighton University.20. Brady Quinn – For his dashing good looks – and his top-10 most popular jersey in the NFL.21. Chuck Lennon – For his roof-raising ability.22. Steve Curl – For being so effeminate that Pangborn was converted to a girl’s dorm the year after he left.23. Hugh Andrews – For his work as president of Andrews McMeel Publishing.24. Hannah Storm – For her work as a host of CBS’s morning show.25. The guys who made Shrek – For their creative genius.