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Defining relationships

Ashley Charnley | Monday, February 4, 2008


Honestly, I think that is one whole sentence. The word encompasses a noun, a verb and an adjective.

You can be in a relationship and that is the noun.

You can not be a “relationship” person, so there is the adjective.

As for the verb, I suppose it still needs inventing, but I promise inadvertent use isn’t new.

What does it mean “to relationship?” Well, it must be the act of being “together.” It is to want to be with a person who you care for and enjoy spending time with.

So why do some people find it so hard “to relationship?”

To attempt that question could take decades. As a matter of fact, it already has. Men and women have coexisted on this planet for an indeterminable number of years, and even after all that time, love is completely mysterious. We can travel through space, wield the power of the sun, use water to generate electricity, but we cannot explain why boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, boy falls for girl, they get married, and live hard times ever after.

Not to be cynical. I love love. Another one of those multi-tasking words. However, love does not love us. It is impossible to say why. I mean, it is our heart’s goal, our very yearning, some believe it is the reason for our existence.

We live to love. However, finding that love discourages us from loving to live. Somewhat ironic, I think. People have prematurely ended their already brief lives as a result of not finding that love. Which is only counterproductive because dating is hard enough without have the whole “dead” obstacle standing in your way.

Where does that bring us then? Love is… yeah, I don’t really know. It depends on who you ask.

Paul McCartney said it was all you need, so is it food or maybe oxygen? Sweet thought.

I suppose I can’t really come to a conclusion. I hate to disappoint, but if I had the answers, I would probably be the only one with them. The best I can say is, we are all going to keep searching. Whether we try intentionally to find it or it somehow finds us, it will continue its mysterious presence in our lives.

I apologize for asking you a question that has no obvious answer. If you must have something, I guess we each find our own reasons for why we love the way we do. So, I am afraid you each have to answer that question yourself.

I know, you’re welcome for the extra worries.

Honestly though, any answer I pass along to you will not sound quite right. This is the type of conclusion you come to in 50, maybe 70 years when you look back and wonder about your life. So, all I wanted to do was pose the question, and hopefully, now you don’t have to spend half of your life coming up with it. You can start your journey a little earlier.