Oh Betty, you have been gone for too long!
It has been exactly three months since the last episode of "Ugly Betty" aired, but it returns Thursday at 8 p.m. on ABC in the episode entitled "24 Candles." In case you've forgotten what happened three months ago, here's where "Ugly Betty" left off.
Daniel started dating Wilhelmina's sister, Renee (Gabrielle Union). In my personal opinion, the more Slaters on the show, the better. If Renee turns out to be half the witch that Wilhelmina is, then "Ugly Betty" will improve 10-fold. But the immediate focus is on how long her relationship with Daniel will last. And according to Wilhelmina, Renee has a secret to hide - one that Daniel might not like.
Christina moved into Wilhelmina's apartment to carry the spawn of Wilhelmina and the deceased Bradford Meade. That's right. Wilhelmina extracted sperm from Bradford's dead body in order to give birth to an heir and finally claim her piece of the Meade empire. It may be the lowest Wilhelmina has ever gone to get what she wants, but then again, there's quite a bit we don't know about her past (including her life as lowly assistant Wanda). What will happen when the world finds out there is another Meade child? We know Claire won't be too happy about it.
Claire announced that she's going to launch a new magazine for women over 50, called "Hot Flash." Her children may be skeptical about their mother's ability to launch a magazine, but I have total confidence in Claire based on the title of her magazine alone. Add the revelation of "Hot Flash" to my long list of laugh out loud moments on "Ugly Betty." But let's hope that Claire's article includes more than articles about menopause and ads for Boniva.
Amanda found out that her father with the Tweety Bird tattoo on his butt is KISS rocker Gene Simmons. I couldn't be happier that Amanda finally knows who her birth father is, especially since her search for him led her to write and perform the song "Gene Simmons is My Daddy." Let's hope that Amanda embraces her inner-rocker and gains the respect that being the daughter of two celebrities so rightly deserves.
Henry told Betty that he doesn't want her to be around Gio anymore. Henry, I would take your side if you weren't the father of Charlie's baby. But it's quite possible that you'll go back to your baby mama to raise your child, leaving Betty sad and alone. Plus, Henry and Betty have become rather boring. Gio is new and exciting, a little short, but an excellent dancer. He dares Betty to try new things, and that's what she needs in her life.
Tonight's episode might bring some new "Betty" revelations, but in the meantime, Betty is turning 24 and wants the perfect birthday complete with her perfect boyfriend, Henry. Too bad super pregnant Charlie comes to town, forcing Gio to step in and give Betty a birthday to remember.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
Contact Cassie Belek at cbelek@nd.edu
