We, the Gentlemen of St. Edward's Hall, in accordance with the desires of our patron, St. Edward, King and Confessor, hereby address the infringement by Duncan Hall on the sovereign rights of our fine dormitory.
The very existence of Duncan Hall, at its most fundamental level, challenges the traditions and integrity of not only St. Edward's Hall, but the entirety of Our Lady's University.
While the presence of Duncan has allowed for minimal benefits, such as increasing space in other dorms and providing a haven for social misfits, we feel that Duncan's inexcusable violations against our dorm's tradition are of exceeding concern, and greatly outweigh the said advantages.
Primarily, the Highlanders of Duncan Hall are untrustworthy. Abandoning their previous dorms in favor of Duncan's ostentatious walls, these men display a gross infidelity to the traditional, established institutions of our University, and suggest a propensity for the disparagement of tradition and lore.
Furthermore, as eloquently summarized by one E. Rankin ("Duncan Disappoints," Sept. 30), numerous characteristics of Duncan Hall are seemingly stolen from our beloved, storied residence hall, including but not limited to: our second floor chapel, rector appointments and, most importantly, the donning of kilts at hosted pep rallies. Such theft of traditions and defining qualities of our dorm only reflects Duncan's lack of individuality and creativity on campus, which are both essential in establishing a successful residence hall.
We acknowledge that in stealing our traditions the Highlanders simply attempt to borrow and learn from the superior dorm. However, as the oldest dormitory on campus, we feel the obligation to uphold the traditions of our University, and counter the inane tomfoolery of Our Lady's youngest sons.
Thus, a rivalry is born. We the Gentlemen of St. Edward's Hall hereby reprimand the Highlanders of Duncan Hall for their inexcusable offenses, and with great pride declare opposition to our cross-campus brothers.
Michael Eardley
Colin Goodman
Kevin Quigley
sophomores
St. Edward's Hall
Oct. 1
