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Hook-up a bad introduction

Letter to the Editor | Friday, November 21, 2008

Although I guess I should’ve been distraught upon learning that a fellow schoolmate’s (Melissa Buddie, “The hook-up culture,” Nov. 19) method of making pals has been failing her consistently, my concern for her social life was nothing compared to my shock that nearly a semester had passed before she began to think that hooking up with random boys isn’t a reliable way of establishing meaningful friendships at Notre Dame.


I know I’m not the only one who read the letter with a look on my face that was much more distaste than pity. However, it may be comforting to hear that it’s not unnatural for her to be suffering the cold shoulder treatment from the partners of previous hook-ups. It’s standard fare.

The hook-up culture she proudly practices typically implies a no-strings-attached attitude. That’s supposed to be the entire appeal.

So what’s the big surprise? I don’t blame those boys for being short on words after the act (I assume kissing was the extent of these six hook-ups, otherwise I would be writing another letter entirely), and I suspect that her very public announcement isn’t going to make them any more eager to hang out with her.

A rearrangement of priorities could prevent future problems. Dropping the “kissing hobby” is a good start. If Buddie is looking for a phone call or a lunch companion, I suggest that she makes friends with the boy(s) first and kisses second, if at all.

That being said, I’m not sure that sharing Buddie’s letter in the Viewpoint was anything short of Too Much Information for those of us who aren’t a) among her six male addressees or b) also extremely baffled by why the people we’re intimate with yet never intend to date feel awkward around us. Believe it or not, some of us college girls don’t like to get our thrills by being the weekend conquest of a random dude. We’d prefer to read a piece that’s a little more relevant and, dare I say, mature in nature.

Just a thought.

Marla MacMichael


Howard Hall

Nov. 20