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Hook-up culture revisited

Letter to the Editor | Sunday, November 23, 2008

I could approach this from the standpoint of an offended male: “You don’t know what its like to be me! I have needs too!” or something to that effect, but I won’t do that. I will refrain, largely because I don’t have any feelings and I really don’t want you to waste your time guessing what it is like to be me. In any event, upon reading Melissa Buddie’s little blurb (“The hook-up culture,” Nov. 19), which, by the way, screamed self-righteous wild-woman, I couldn’t help but let my jaw drop to the floor. I really mean it. I was sitting at my desk, and the kid next to me was forced to reach to the ground to pick my jaw, tongue hanging out on the DeBartolo ground, off of the floor.Not only have you generalized an entire gender, but you have sworn to entrust the key to your chastity belt in the hands of the morbidly conservative University Administration until you are relinquished from its grip upon your graduation in the year 2012. Now, I am no strapping young man by any means. Sure, I have a smile that could cure world hunger, charm that could turn the Grinch’s heart from coal and the unassailable wit that few comedians possess on this earth, but I am far from Brad Pitt. I’m not really in a position to claim that I have “hooked up” (not really sure what that means, but if it got awkward, something a little kinky must have gone down) with six girls this year and that none of them have called back. In fact, I haven’t gotten a phone call from a female in years.But let’s be serious here, you put yourself out on the line with six guys looking for friendship? I don’t know if you were slightly inebriated or if you just have a weakness for spontaneous love-making duels, but I have to break it to you, honey: No guy that you hook up with, regardless of whether or not he has your number wants to be “just friends” at that point. And unless there is some foundation to fall back on, you actually kind of dig each other in a “Boogie Nights” kind of way or you fall wildly, madly, Fabio-type in love, it is unlikely that that guy will call you for some friendship.That being said, not all men are like that – though you will be hard pressed to find anyone at this point who wants an Observer article written about his sexual exploits. I feel sorry for those poor young souls. Call-backs do happen. One day, you might find someone who wants to call you back, but until you realize that every match is not a match made in Heaven, it ain’t gonna happen, baby. Hook ups happen, that’s what college is for. I kid of course, but I wouldn’t go around making out with people to forge friendships with members of the opposite sex. God forbid you get labeled a “whore” – though you would be a member of quite an elite group at this fine institution.There are about 6,000 men here. If you had a problem making eye contact with all of them for the reasons you stated, you would be well on your way to rivaling Wilt Chamberlain in a battle of numbers. With that, I say good luck to you. As for your pledge of abstinence and chastity from all men for the remainder of your four years, I offer you this: there are always women.

Robby Schoderjunioroff-campusNov. 19