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Don’t blame the boys

Observer Viewpoint | Monday, March 2, 2009

As I guy, I’d like to speak for the gentlemen of the Notre Dame campus in response to Katherine McKackin’s Feb. 27 letter, “He’s just not that into you: Notre Dating” and every letter addressing the same issue. First of all, guys are not villains looking to screw up girls’ lives, as has been recently suggested in letters concerning the hook-up culture at Notre Dame. Just as girls are able to complain about guys being hard to get, I can speak for myself and many other men that we can claim the exact same thing about girls. So, ladies, you must ask yourself if what I say is true and guys aren’t really all that much worse than girls, what are we, boys and girls, doing wrong?

Well, we’re looking in all the wrong places. If guys and girls believe that they can find possibility for a substantial relationship at a modern day party, I’m sad to say they’ll be sorely mistaken. As most people know, our culture here in the U.S. is obsessed with instant gratification. We want pleasure and sensation right now and we want a lot of it (Did I mention we want it now? And a lot of it?). This culture of immediate satisfaction is most obviously noticeable at college parties. Girls dress as loosely as they want, guys act like macho sex-addicts and you have a recipe for disaster.

So what does this have to do with Notre Dame’s relationship ailments? This is where we all look for a guy/girl. Occasionally, there will be the exception of a guy and a girl meeting at a party and having a substantial relationship, but just about everybody there is after the free-flowing booze and hook-ups, hook-ups, hook-ups. This is because we want that instant gratification and we know just where to get it. But do we know where to go for a meaningful relationship?

If you consider yourself close to your faith, I suggest daily Mass at the Basilica. If you don’t care too much for religion (which is fine), get involved with a club, nights at Legends, AcoustiCafe, sporting events … this list continues. Bottom line: It is ridiculous to complain, guys and girls alike, about not being able to find anyone when the only place you’re willing to look is your local off-campus s*** show. So if you’re looking for a hook-up, go to an off-campus party. If you’re looking for a meaningful relationship, look elsewhere.

Daniel Quinlan


St. Edward’s Hall

Feb. 28