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Tuesday, April 16, 2024
The Observer

What a picture says

You may have noticed a new feature of our inside columns this year - that is, if you're an upperclassman and still read The Observer. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The new feature I'm referring to is the lovely picture now situated on the right side of this column, letting you know exactly what your columnist looks like.

As you can imagine, I fought adamantly against this change. Oh, self-deprecating humor.

Seriously though, I did not want this to happen. The reason I love journalism is its anonymity. I subscribe to the theory that what is being said is always more important than who is saying it.

I also get a real kick out of sitting in the dining hall next to someone who is reading my story out loud with no idea that I am there.

I made a mistake when I went to get my picture taken, too. Instead of dressing up all pretty like the other girls did, with my hair down and makeup perfect, I dressed the way I do every day.

My only caveat was that I couldn't have a double chin in the picture. It took two takes, and then I was done. Usually, it takes longer than that, because I have never mastered the art of smiling and tilting my head.

Because of the way I dressed for my photo shoot, the picture in this column is incredibly accurate, making the chance of people recognizing me that much larger.

On any given day, I can almost guarantee you that I am wearing my hair in a messy bun with a thin headband. If it's cold, I'm wearing a hoodie. I'm always wearing a smile.

Once, I went to Burger King for a cheeseburger (don't judge me, I'm anemic), and the kid at the register looked at my ID and said, "Laura Myers? You write sports for The Observer!"

I was creeped out by that.

So even though this picture obviously makes me famous, if you see me walking and recognize me, please do what we all do in that situation. Walk by awkwardly and avoid eye contact.

Be excited by the celebrity sighting, but keep it inside.

Remember that despite what certain staff members of The Observer suggest, this picture is in no way a personal ad. Any and all inquiries will be ignored.

Fortunately this picture won't be a problem in any of my classes, because there are no freshmen in any of them.