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Friday, April 19, 2024
The Observer

Miley Cyrus: a bard for today's youth

Thank you, Martha Karam ("Leave Miley alone;" Sept.30), for defending Miley Cyrus. She is, as Ms. Karam notes, only 16 years old. To all the haters: grow up. I don't know what kind of fancy high school you went to, but I didn't know any adverbs when I was 16. Get off your high horse and remember what it was like to just do things like "yeah!"

As Ms. Karam notes, Miley's lyrics are comparable to those of other pop and hip hop artists. Let's all admit that the only reason Jay-Z's Blueprint 3 is relevant is because Miley mentioned him in "Party."

And displaying her usual lyrical flair, I might add: "And the Jay-Z song was on / and the Jay-Z song was on / and the Jay-Z song was oooonnn." I'm sure Jay won't be tempted to shoot her next time he sees her in the club. Even if he were, he won't get the opportunity for two years because California's clubs don't allow minors. This definitely isn't a Nashville party!

Yet if Miley were to go to the club underage - and I am by no means suggesting she's the type - she would not dress like that coked-out wench Lady Gaga. So Miley was all naked and whatnot for Rolling Stone.

How tasteful were your photo shoots when you were 16? Only moderately tasteful - at best. You find her digitally enhanced voice "nasally?" You wouldn't know Bob Dylan if he rolled a huge blunt with the American flag and smoked it in your nay-saying face.

Frankly, I question the patriotism of Miley's critics. I won't speak for you, Mr. Mohammed al-Qaeda Hamas, but I believe that "Party in the USA" is the best song to feature the phrase "in the USA" in its title since the Boss extolled the virtues of killing the yellow man in 1984.

Lastly, I have deduced through a thorough Facebook recon that the writers of the original piece - Szymon Ryzner and Nick Anderson - were much, much worse looking as 16-year-olds than Miley is. fact.

I, for one - and Ms. Karam, too, no doubt - enjoyed partying in the USA last weekend. Like "yeah!"



Tom Dybicz

senior

off-campus

Oct. 4
 


The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.