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Sbarro’s Straight Out of the Oven

Maija Gustin | Monday, February 8, 2010

It’s 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. Parietals have just ended your evening, the dorm parties are over and you want nothing more than some delicious, greasy sustenance. LaFortune offers a plethora of foods for your choosing. But what is the best option? Sbarro, of course. That puffy crust! Those pools of grease! The satisfying warmth that spreads through your body after finishing a large slice of Sbarro! Sheer joy.
But, believe it or not, there might actually be something better than merely walking into that basement alcove of heavenly cheese, crust and sauce. No, not a short line, although that is pretty great. The answer to this riddle is, of course, fresh Sbarro pizza, straight out of the oven. Bliss.
Unfortunately, one can never know when exactly that fresh pie will be surfacing from the Sbarro ovens. Short of calling ahead, your fate is left to mere chance. Will it be warm and gooey or merely stale? Oh, how the tough questions of life challenge us so! And woe is the poor soul who is stuck with that last piece of pizza, the slice that has spent hours sitting on the Sbarro counter, waiting for its unlucky victim.
But, friends, there is an answer. A guaranteed method that always finds its clever user with a fresh slice of Sbarro in hand. The solution? Bear in mind, this works best for large groups, or severely famished individuals. To ensure yourself the freshest slices of pizza, do not stand in line for hours with friends, each waiting to buy their own personal slice of pizza. Be economical. Order an entire pizza. For a mere $11.99 (of Flex Points, no less), one can get an entire, guaranteed fresh out of the oven Sbarro pizza. This pizza can be cut into six, eight, 10 or even 12 slices, ready to be shared, steaming hot, with friends and assorted revelers. The possibilities are endless, and you shall never again be faced with the nauseating prospect of eating flat and stale pizza.
What’s more, by calling ahead, one has to wait but 10 minutes to have that warm pizza in their hands. It’s something a bit like instant gratification. Quarter dogs are great, but for the discerning palette, nothing will ever surpass fresh Sbarro in excellence. So do yourselves a favor. This weekend, when feeling a little adventurous after a night on the quad, give your taste buds the thrill they deserve. Treat them to the guaranteed deliciousness of warm, gooey, fresh Sbarro.