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Friday, April 19, 2024
The Observer

Nothing turns me on like short hair and charity

As most of us know, Spring Break is the prime-time for getting hair cut. Whether it's convenient to make an appointment at your home hairdresser or you want to look good for Panama City, the locks usually drop. The purpose of this article is quite simple: to convince every female on this campus to not cut her hair until April 21.


Now all you lovely ladies may be a little confused as to why such a huge sacrifice needs to be made. On April 21-23, multiple clubs and dorms on campus (such as Sophomore Class Council, Duncan Hall, to name a few) will be joining forces to host the first annual event "The Bald and the Beautiful."All the money collected from head shaving and hair cuts will go towards cancer research. For those not brave enough to shave their heads, Pantene Beautiful Lengths asks for eight inches of hair with the aim of making a wig for cancer patients who have recently undergone chemotherapy.


If you aren't convinced yet, then maybe you should take my word on the matter. Having sported everything from a bleach-blond Mohawk to a handprint shaved into my head, I know what it takes to make hair look good. If nothing else, hair should be an extension of your personality. So, if you really want to wow that guy in your seminar, let him notice your great, new haircut after April 23. Once he finds out you sacrificed your hair appointment during Spring Break so that a child undergoing chemotherapy wouldn't have to suffer through the process of balding, I'm sure you would gain a little respect.


All I ask is that you females take my advice both as an average guy and a hair enthusiast: Don't let your beautiful hair be cut off at a typical hair salon and simply lay around on the ground. Make the small sacrifice of having longer hair for a few weeks so that a cancer patient can be happier.

 

Ben German
sophomore
Dillon Hall
March 1 


The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.