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That kid in class

Molly Madden | Friday, September 3, 2010

So syllabus week is over and now it’s time to actually pay attention and get down to business in class. Unfortunately, this also means interacting with our fellow students. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of people that I meet in my classes with whom I end up forming substantial friendships.

On the other hand, there is always at least one person in every class that I live to despise. And I think that many of you out there know what I’m talking about.

In every class there is always that one person that every single other student in the class secretly wants to kill. This person is either uber-annoying, thinks they’re the most intelligent person outside of Harvard, or they really think they they’re doing Notre Dame a favor by gracing the campus with their sheer awesomeness.


I know that everyone reading this can think of at least one person in class who annoys the bejesus out of them and everyone else. These are individuals who refuse to use any words that have less than three syllables and are constantly going on about how busy they are. Not only that, but they expect everyone else to care that they are so busy because, in case you didn’t know, their lives are so unbelievably important that it affects the balance of the entire universe.

If you can’t think of anyone who fits this description, newsflash! You are that person. Hate to break it to you, but everyone in all your classes has joined a Facebook group about why they hate you and have discussed finding a rule in duLac that allows students to eject a classmate based on the fact that said student is a humongous windbag who makes his peers legitimately reconsider the Geneva convention.

And I can admit, that I may have possibly been this person at one point in my life. Well, maybe two points. I’m of the I-ask-way-too-many-questions-and-feel-that-I-have-the-most-to-say variety. However, it only took me about two weeks to realize that my classmates weren’t returning my smiles when I saw them on the quad.

Bright side of being that person, everyone in class most definitely knew my name. Bad news, I’m pretty sure it was always associated with an expletive of some sort. I’ve since reformed my ways.

What’s really depressing is these type of annoying imbeciles aren’t going away anytime soon. Just today, as I was having a nice and completely shallow conversation with my girlfriend before class started, some kid thought it would be a good idea to engage in a conversation about modern representations of race in the new media that reflects common stereotypes. For a few seconds I contemplated how much damage could be inflicted with my ballpoint pen.

Basically, we’re stuck with these people for the rest of our lives. Because annoying students turn into annoying coworkers, who turn into annoying neighbors at the retirement home. So keep quiet, stay strong and really work on perfecting your death stare.