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Cravin’ more…

Ankur Chawla | Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I recently picked up a copy of Scholastic, partially out of pity for seeing them idle in the dining hall for so long. Of the few articles I read, there was one discussing the University of Notre Dame Class of 2014 Facebook group, expressing the writer’s qualms with one particular upperclassman. This column is a defense of that man, the myth, the legend.

Enter Cravin Moorehed.

Although Cravin is a fictional being, as far as the masterminds behind Facebook are concerned he’s just as real as you and your friends. He is just another array of data, a picture, a name, a list of friends, activities and most importantly, groups. During finals week last semester, Cravin and his creators joined the Notre Dame Class of 2014 Facebook group. The group was full of young freshmen, eager to form the Facebook bond with other future Domers.

A freshman advice column was created on the discussion board by these devious upperclassmen as a Steven Colbert-esque guide to life at Notre Dame. (If you’re bored while studying for midterms, I suggest reading through it for a good laugh.) The freshmen were naive at first and asked legitimate questions. The upperclassmen treated these questions with as much respect as Simon Cowell treated William Hung and that guy who sang “Pants on the Ground.” After Cravin posted a few clever comments, the freshmen indeed began “lookin’ like fools with their pants on the ground.”

The playful banter and antics of Cravin and his gang were welcomed and praised by those more down to earth, though some felt the need to tell everyone that Cravin was a big phony. This fact was undoubtedly obvious to everyone other than those who tried pointing it out. Cravin was just providing a funny environment for the freshmen to get to know what life at Notre Dame might be like; he wasn’t doing any real harm, at least not initially.

The Facebook fanatics took the real blow when the upperclassmen managed to weasel their way into making Cravin the sole administrator of the group. At this point he began sending distasteful, albeit funny messages and videos to 1,858 members of the freshman class.

To anyone who was offended by Cravin’s antics, maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate your frequented websites. Heaven forbid anyone attack your Facebook fundamentals, it might disrupt who and what you are as a human. We spend hours displaying our every move to people we hardly know. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually talk to regularly or even at all? Who cares if the kid you met at Domerfest likes when he accomplishes something before the microwave hits :00? I can guarantee you that he doesn’t pause for a moment when you ask for help with Fast Money on Family Feud. The problem is that Facebook has become how we define ourselves. What would you be without your seven albums from freshman year?

Now that I’m done ranting, I’ve got to go update my Twitter. I’m up to 20 followers … OK, only 18. But still I am eagerly waiting for the unsuspecting class of 2015’s group to be formed because I am indeed cravin’ more Cravin Moorehed.


The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

Contact Ankur Chawla at [email protected]