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Mike Gotimer | Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Last week was a rough one for me. Like most of my fellow Domers, I had my first randomly placed three — test week of the semester with the added bonus of a nasty virus that left me bed ridden for most of the week.

One morning, after I had finally summoned the strength to walk the seven feet to my bathroom and shower, I flipped on the light switch and almost screamed, for the vanity lights clearly showed nice treasure trove of grey hairs. Added with the fact that every doctor I saw last week was kind enough to let me know that I have abnormally high blood pressure for a 21 year old, I was struck with a sober realization that I’m becoming my father much faster than I had anticipated.

Realizing that I need to slow down this process and preserve my youthful beauty, I started thinking about what the possible source of my grey hairs could be, and naturally I was drawn right to my rooting interests. As of that point, Notre Dame was 1-3, my beloved Giants were 1-2 and cat-fighting in the locker room on a daily basis, the Yankees were limping into the playoffs (and eventually blew their first ever September division lead), and LeBron was dunking with Dwyane Wade in South Beach instead of Amar’e on Broadway. With a bleak sports outlook, on the horizon, I decided that I temporarily need a new hobby. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. Sports Video Games: I thought this might be a logical choice, seeing as I can still watch sports, but in this realm, I have a hand in the outcome. However, my NCAA Road to Glory athlete was just as heartbreaking as real life. In his sophomore season, with a national championship bid on the line and the Irish trailing by four at hated USC with under a minute to go, my quarterback threw a 25-yard completion to TE #9, who then fumbled and allowed USC to return it for a touchdown, ending my national championship dreams. The following season I lost to Ohio State in the title game in triple overtime. It turns out virtual reality isn’t so virtual after all.

2. Television: Everybody loves some good old TV to make himself feel better, and I’m no exception. With Eastbound and Down and How I Met Your Mother Back in commission and good potential in shows like Hawaii 5-0 and Boardwalk Empire, I could be glued to the tube for a month. However, I’d always end up back at channel 34 at some point or another, and the stress cycle would continue.

3. Gardening: This is the real dark horse in the group. When I was in high school, I always used to laugh at my dad and uncle’s obsession with planting their impatiens every spring. I mean, come on, they’re flowers, that’s pansy stuff. Now that I’m a homeowner myself, however, I always wonder what would make my house look better everyday when I come home. While walking on Library Quad the other day, I noticed some lovely pachysandra growing around that fence that blocks the quad from Gate E, and I thought that could make my house look nice and keep the neighborhood kids away from the porch.

4. Politics: Everyone tells me there’s a big election coming up this year, so I could track that, but it would inevitably turn into me picking red or blue and watching as the other side lies, cheats, steals and cripples my dreams. I’m taking a different political approach however, as I’m officially kick-starting my campaign to be the first ND graduate in the White House. The key is finding an all-star running mate, but I think I’ve got that covered. So until my teams start winning again, I’ll be devoting all of my free time to Gotimer — the Situation 2036.