You know who you are
James Kachadoorian | Tuesday, November 16, 2010
To Whom It May Concern:
In 2001, Lance Bass starred in On the Line, a miserable film in which he searches endlessly for a girl he saw from afar. Let’s look past the obvious irony in that last sentence and focus on the bigger picture.
I, too, am looking for a particular girl. I’ve resorted to The Observer to find you. Consider this an all-points bulletin to the girl that I’ve been stuck behind in the vegetable line four times in the last week.
You know who you are, and your conduct is unacceptable. While others respect the dignity of students around them by moving swiftly through the vegetable line, you literally stand there with a spoon and pick out individual carrots. One by one, my patience simmers into a controlled rage as you take five minutes to fill a single bowl.
As the line backs up, you single-handedly throw a wrench into the gears of hundreds of hungry people in North Dining Hall.
Let this serve as a friendly reminder that your inability to use a spoon as it was intended has to change. I refuse to stand by as a silent witness to your rude, irrational, habitual crime against the Notre Dame population. As we move forward, hurry up.
I didn’t want to have to resort to The Observer, but your brash disregard for common courtesy has left me no choice.
In Notre Dame,