Jay Mathes | Monday, April 18, 2011
Ladies and Gentlemen:
It is my honor to cordially invite you to be my date for this year’s St. Edward’s Hall Yacht Dance on the 4th evening of May during the year of Our Lord Two-Thousand and Eleven. Yes, that’s right. You have an opportunity to be a part of the most legendary night on campus.
For those of you who don’t remember, the St. Edward’s Hall Yacht Dance was a shoe-in for the best SYR according to the Scholastic at the beginning of the year. What does that mean? That means feasting in Chicago, cruising around Lake Michigan on the Mystic Blue and dancing the night away in the shadow of the Chicago skyline (yes Duncan, we can actually see the entire skyline.)
To ensure you that I am not some creepy kid who spends half the day talking to his invisible girlfriend, Melinda, and the other half trying to find a pet Petite Lap Giraffe, here is my match.com blurb: I am a junior from Sandy Springs, Ga. I am the outgoing president of St. Edward’s Hall and I have chosen to carry on this long-stranding and prestigious presidential tradition. I have blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. My hobbies include triathlons, boating, anything football and attending country music concerts. I enjoy a great toothpick, thunderstorms, banana Powerbars and an ice cold Arnold Palmer. My favorite book is The Great Gatsby. My favorite flavor of ice cream is Greater’s Raspberry Chocolate Chip. Last, but far from least, I have a beautiful girlfriend who goes to BC and is currently in Australia. Fortunately for all of my suitors, she has given her blessing upon the date of my choice.
So now that you know a little about me, you’re probably wondering how do you get the honor of being my date? Here are three easy ways:
1. Go online. The direct link to the survey is: http://mendoza.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_3g7DkOgIexjbXrC The link would be easy to use off The Observer’s website: www.ndsmcobserver.com (Editors, you’re welcome for the shameless plug).
2. Attend the Facebook Event: Jay’s Yacht Dance Date. The application link is provided.
Lastly, I encourage everyone to apply. For those of you who have recently applied for an internship/job, you have had to fill out an equal opportunity survey. Well, I am truly an equal opportunity dater. I am looking for the best date no matter your gender, race, size, hair color or physical location. As long as you promise to have a blast as my date, you can be a Notre Dame student, a townie, an alum, a professor or currently in Mumbai, it does not matter. I would like to thank you for your time and for allowing me to chum the waters. I look forward to meeting you, and if you have any questions please do not hesitate to Facebook/email me.
Remember: I’m on a boat, and you could be too.
St. Edward’s Hall