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Hammock Rights

Matt Povlock | Thursday, September 1, 2011

One of my friends recently was approached by an NDSP officer while enjoying a beautiful afternoon in his hammock on North Quad. The officer informed him that hammocks are prohibited from being hung between trees on the quads, and she forced him to take his down. This violation of human liberty, therefore, begs for a brief celebration of the hammock in all of its glory.

The hammock is more than a relaxation contraption; it is a celestial experience. It allows one to temporarily transcend the boundaries of this world to blissfully frolic amidst the clouds of heaven.

This modern miracle, displayed through mid-air flotation, traces its roots to Jesus walking on water. Many biblical scholars assert that Christ Himself was born in a hammock. Hammocks, therefore, provide their users with spiritual peace and allow them to mirror the life of their Lord and Savior.

As United States citizens, we rejoice over the connection between the hammock and our American identity. Nothing depicts American freedom like spending a lazy afternoon relaxing in one’s hammock. This display of patriotism celebrates our unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

For God, Country and Notre Dame: take a moment to hang your hammock, kick back, relax and become lost in the beauty of life.

Matt Povlock


Stanford Hall

Aug. 31