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Questionable report cards

Tyler Thomas | Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dear report card editor,

For my roommate and I, it has become one of our favorite ongoing jokes to wake up Monday morning and laugh at how poorly the past Saturday’s game was analyzed. This week’s report card was so bad that I felt it was my civic duty to bring this to the Notre Dame community’s attention.

To begin, you gave the running backs a D- for their performance against USC. Yes, they may have only rushed for a combined 43 yards, but they only had 9 combined rushing attempts! They averaged close to 5 yards per carry, and Jonas Grey averaged nearly 10 yards per carry. (Not to mention that the only offensive touchdown was a 25-yard run by Jonas Grey.) I would argue that the running backs deserve a B at the minimum. With that being said, how could you give the offensive linemen a D+? With Jonas Grey averaging close to 10 yards per carry and not allowing a single sack all game, they deserve a grade of at least a B as well. Now, about those defensive linemen: A D is being way too generous. I have never seen such a poor defensive performance. They allowed over 200 yards rushing and never sacked the quarterback. They should have received an F. But the biggest complaint I have is the coaching grade. Our defensive play calling was unresponsive to their massive ground attack. However, their biggest fault was not calling any timeouts towards the end of the game. Sure, we probably weren’t going to make a comeback, but Coach Kelly sent a message to his football team and fans that day. I am so irate that I do not care about this game anymore. I don’t know about you, Mr. Editor, but the student section I was sitting in heard Kelly’s message loud and clear.

So please, next week when you fill out the report card against Navy, put more thought and effort into the report card instead of looking up statistics on ESPN the night before it’s due.


Tyler Thomas


Knott Hall

Oct. 25