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Hefferon: Bowl schedule out, the debate begins (Dec. 6)

Jack Hefferon | Monday, December 5, 2011

The college football bowl schedule is officially out, and people are angry, as always. The computer overlords have once again messed up all that is holy in college football, providing the talking heads at ESPN and online with two weeks of screaming material over snubs, rematches and those rankings.

This year, most of the drama centered on the top three teams in the poll, as the voters/cyborgs opted for an LSU vs. Alabama rematch instead of the much clamored for showdown between offensive-minded Oklahoma State and stingy Louisiana State. If only there was some way everyone could agree on those top three.

Well, now they can. I hereby present to you the top three rankings for everything you need to know about bowl season.

Top Three BCS Snubs:

1. Boise State — Not only does one-loss Boise get booted out of the BCS, but they also somehow get slotted in the MAACO Bowl against Arizona State. The last time we gave Boise State a chance to play a power conference in a bowl game, they beat Oklahoma in one of the greatest games in college history. Since then? East Carolina, TCU twice and Utah. People always ask how the Broncos would fare if they were in a big-time conference. Let’s find out.

2. Arkansas — The Razorbacks play in the best conference in the nation, and their two losses came to the top two teams in the country. Now the No. 6 Razorbacks play No. 8 Kansas State in the Cotton Bowl, while we have to watch No. 15 Clemson and No. 23 West Virginia in the BCS Orange Bowl. How do these numbers work again?

3. Georgia — Looked like the Bulldogs might upset LSU last week, but then the second half happened.

Top Three Random Bowl Sponsors:

1. Beef O’ Brady’s — National chain of pubs and apparently there’s one in Granger. Official slogan: “Meet me at Beef’s!”

2. Northrop Grumman — They build precision weapons and defense technology. Great marketing just in time for Christmas. Military Aircraft: The Perfect Stocking Stuffer!

3. Famous Idaho Potatoes — Part of this balanced bowl season.

Top Three Heisman Hopefuls:

1. Trent Richardson, RB, Alabama — He’s carried the No. 2 team in the country and he’s got the numbers to bring it home. In the SEC, that’s saying something.

2. Robert Griffin III, QB, Baylor — If Andrew Luck played his way out of contention toward the end of the season, Griffin has only moved up in voters’ minds with incredible performances. Baylor has one too many losses for him to win, though.

3. Tyrann Mathieu, CB, LSU — He’s just one piece of an unreal LSU defense, but his two punt returns in the SEC Championship game will give him a boost up to bronze. Andrew Luck? Honey Badger don’t care about Andrew Luck.

Top Three Teams in the country:

1. LSU — You beat everyone in the country, and you look good doing it. Generally makes you No. 1.

2. Alabama — In a perfect ranking system, No. 2 only loses to No. 1, and it’s a pretty close game. That’s just what happened in the overtime prequel in November. They’ve blown out every other team they’ve played, including Arkansas, Florida and Penn State.

3. Oklahoma State — A solid résumé and very fun to watch, but an overtime loss to Iowa State is not the same as an overtime loss to LSU. Sorry.

Hey, maybe the computers actually got that one right.

Contact Jack Hefferon at [email protected]

The views expressed in the Sports Authority Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.