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Notre Dame learns to flirt

Sarah McCarthy | Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dating coach Adam LoDolce gave Notre Dame students a lesson in flirting, dating and relationships Wednesday evening during the Flirting Workshop, sponsored by the Gender Relations Center. LoDolce, who has been featured in Glamour magazine, gave a presentation in McKenna Hall that included a slideshow to teach students not only how to flirt, but also how to break down larger social barriers that may prevent them from meeting new people.

“Social fears inhibit us from achieving greatness in our lives,” LoDolce said. “Our social and professional lives would be much different if we were more comfortable putting ourselves out there.”

LoDolce gave students a brief account of his background and how he got started in his career. He also admitted that, as a college student, he would often deal with his anxiety over meeting girls by getting drunk before he went out.

After meeting a fellow student at a party whose gregarious and outgoing personality caught his attention, LoDolce said he realized he had it within him to overcome his social fears. He eventually started his coaching business, which is centered on helping people achieve what he calls “social freedom,” he said.

“Social freedom is the confidence to be yourself in any social situation without the fear of rejection or criticism,” LoDolce said. “Everyone is born socially free.”

As people grow older, they accumulate learned fears, usually through parents, and these fears eventually make it harder for them to meet new people and begin new relationships, LoDolce said.

As a way to get over these fears and develop more confidence, LoDolce offered the audience certain secrets to achieving social freedom.

“The first is to develop your unique concise identity,” he said.

He encouraged students to think about what made them different or unique, and he said they should not be afraid to express those characteristics.

“I believe that once you start building confidence you feel more comfortable putting yourself out there in a different way than someone else,” he said.

LoDolce advised the audience to think about what to first say to someone when meeting him or her because, he said, “cheesy pickup lines don’t work.”

Another way to build confidence, Lo Dolce said, is to warm  up before social gatherings.

“Talk to anyone you’re not intimidated by, and slowly expose yourself to things that make you uncomfortable,” LoDolce said.

LoDolce challenged the students in the audience to introduce him or herself to five people in the crowd.

Finally, LoDolce said students shoulo stop worrying so much about what others think.

“If you constantly question yourself, you become your insecurities,” he said. “Be attracted to yourself to live a life full of love. The main thing is to have fun.”

Some students in the audience, such as senior Alex Budz, said they appreciated the tips LoDolce presented in the workshop.

“I liked it a lot,” Budz said. “I’m in a relationship, but I think I could also use his advice to meet new friends.”

Fellow senior Katharine Mackd said she also enjoyed the presentation.

“I liked his positive vibes,” she said. “I found the talk intriguing.”