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It’s sign time

Isaac Lorton | Thursday, October 11, 2012

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but “College GameDay” is coming to campus for the epic battle of the college teams whose mascots’ names don’t end in ‘s.’ Or, “the battle for being ‘s’-less,” if you will.

Now there’s no need to speculate about who Lee Corso is going to pick, because it’s obvious. He will be sporting a green hat, carrying a shillelagh and doing his best Irish jig. So don’t waste your precious time on that. Check.

As for midterms this week, they are unimportant and suck the creativity out of your minds (trust me, you will need the creativity this week). So you should also not waste your time studying for or fretting over those. Check.

The most, absolutely most important thing this week, with the arrival of “College GameDay,” is the signs.

When people watch “College GameDay,” they do not care what Kirk, Lee, Desmond and Chris say. Yes, Corso’s tradition of picking a school is awesome, but his selection is second in awesomeness to the plethora of provocative signs parading around in the background. Fans have been watching ESPN all week. They’ve heard all of the predictions and opinions about the game – nothing new will be said. The viewers care what the signs say. Or maybe that’s just me.

It is your one shot, your one opportunity, to show the world what you can do with a bit of bawdiness, a poster board and a handful of Magic Markers. The whole world will be watching what a bunch of crazy college kids can come up with. We need to rise to this tremendous occasion and show the world that we can combine arts and crafts with cleverness better than any other school out there.

There are always the usual signs that go for the cheap laugh, but then there are those that go down in sign lore. We need to aim for lore-status. When another college gets “GameDay” and the students go to Google looking for funny ideas, the whole first page should be completely covered with our signs.

Imagine the world is Bluto from the movie “Animal House” (I know, kind of a scary thought, but stay with me) and imagine we are Otter. Bluto has just challenged us to fulfill our potential, so what should our response be?

It should be: “We have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part. And we are just the guys to do it.”  
So let’s do it. Let’s go all out and make the greatest, most memorable signs ever.

Right now. Seriously, stop reading and start sign making. GO!  

Contact Isaac Lorton at [email protected]

The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.