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The Oscar goes to…

Isaac Lorton | Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Let’s talk about the Oscars.

Best director and best original screenplay goes to Oscar Wilde.

For writing and directing “The Importance of Being Earnest,” Oscar Wilde receives the best director and best original screenplay. One of the great Irish playwrights and satirists, Wilde has forever changed the game when it comes to all types of comedies. Whether it is a romcom, a slapstick or an action comedy, it can be traced back to Wilde’s genius in “The Importance of Being Earnest.” The story includes the classic mixup, social criticism and a plethora of emotions. Wilde was so advanced in his thinking, he came up with the original “catfishing,” which he coined as “bunburying.”

Best actor in a lead role goes to Oscar Robertson.

Who better to lead your team than one of the greatest guards of all time? Oscar “Big O” was the only player in NBA history to average a triple-double over an entire season in 1961-62. It was Robertson’s second year in the league and he accumulated 30.8 points, 12.5 rebounds and 11.4 assists per game. Robertson was a 12-time NBA All-Star, a league MVP and brought the Milwaukee Bucks their only NBA Championship in the 1970-71 season. Robertson was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1980. For all of his contribution as a dominant player, Oscar Robertson receives the award for best actor in a lead role.

Best supporting actor goes to Oscar the Grouch.

Mr. Grouch has selflessly portrayed the bad guy for 43 years and some change, without fail and without recognition. He is the perfect antagonist. How would Kermit, Miss Piggy, Elmo, Big Bird and the rest seem so happy and good at what they do, unless they had a character to offset their traits? Yet the deepness that he displays portrays his role is often over-simplified to a can full of trash. When Mr. Grouch holds up the sign telling people to SCRAM, he just wants somebody to give him a hug. Mr. Grouch provides a character to pity, to empathize with and to hope for and love.

Best original song goes to Oscar Meyer.

Try thinking about bologna without singing what Oscar Meyer has a way with – you can’t, it’s impossible. The tune is so darn catchy, it puts Rebecca Black, Carly Rae Jepsen and PSY to shame. No one knows exactly what is in bologna, but Mr. Meyer makes everyone want to have a piece of bologna with his moving masterpiece. For his work on the musical,”The Butcher: A Tale of the Invention of Bologna,” Oscar Meyer is awarded Best original song.

Contact Isaac Lorton at [email protected]

The views expressed in the Inside Column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.