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Thursday, March 28, 2024
The Observer

Shame on the Leprechaun Legion

How dare they. That was the first thing I thought when I saw the new ticket policy instituted by this slimy student organization that is just a figurehead to one of the athletic department's cronies. Changing the ticket student ticket policy is an affront to the institution that is Notre Dame football. The slippery slope of an identity crisis continues, and it leads all students to question what's next. Perhaps a night game? Encouraging fans to stand? Supposedly they are even giving time to the idea to a video board that is bigger than the average TV in dorm rooms? Playing music by the "Prince of Darkness," instead of letting the band play their usual four songs (my personal favorite, "Rolling in the Deep," has to get the fellas pumped on third down). Actually winning instead of just talking about returning to glory? Preposterous, the athletic department needs to reign in everything about the football program right now but the Legion remains the problem. Next thing we know a huge Irish flag could be on top of the student section, obscuring 20 seconds of the band's halftime performance. Most relevant to the average student is the terrible direction that the Leprechaun Legion is under. The leaders who walk across campus need to realize that the Leprechaun Legion is a plague on this campus and that striving to emulate the decibel level that originates from other student sections is offensive to the Notre Dame tradition.
The proletariat needs to mobilize if we are to neutralize this threat to our God-given right to a six-inch piece of wood that allows us to see the backs of golden helmets - forget the game, I want to be so close to the field to really feel a part of the game at the expense of actually being able to see it. If we are going to have to deal with this new student section, lets do it in a Notre Dame way - uniquely and more pretentiously. The solution to all of our problems is so simple - if OPEC can do it, we can too. Why doesn't everyone collude and walk to Gate E at exactly 2:46.54 before every game day. Not only will this create such a dangerous atmosphere for everyone in the vicinity of Gate E, but it will also bring everyone together in the spirit of community - chaos and community derived from a need for tradition and over-thinking; sounds like the Notre Dame spirit if you ask me.
Maybe we as students should take it a step even further. Lets all show up wearing Temple Red at the first home game - this will show that Leprechaun Legion they can't change the spirit of Notre Dame without our approval (I still can't believe their logo is on this year's Shirt, such a pure student organization has striven to separate itself from the evil empire of the athletic department by making money for student organizations by selling shirts for said Athletic Association's events, genius, although I'm surprised the Legion didn't push for it to be purple). Or how about even a step further - lets boycott football. Nothing tells this overreaching "student group" that they can't control us like the student body not showing up. That makes a lot of sense, right? Again we need to collude on this - classic prisoner's dilemma - we all need to abstain from buying football tickets to really tell these people that if we can't have an assigned seat that three other people are standing in when we get to the Stadium, then we simply won't come to the games. I can't even tell my inebriated peers who are standing in my seat to move anymore. How dare they take away that quintessential game day experience from me; I know I am not the only one who savors this experience.
What have they ever done for us other than mess everything up? Free T-shirts for the Kentucky game? Last time I checked, our school colors were blue and gold; this group doesn't even know what our school colors are! Handing out food before games of less attended sports? We are true fans and don't need any motivation to show up to women's volleyball against teams like Eastern Kentucky.
The Leprechaun Legion has stepped too far on this one. How dare they try to make Notre Dame Stadium a better place to watch a game with an intimidating atmosphere. Shame on them.