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Erin Thomassen | Sunday, September 29, 2013

Dear Diary,

I am so confused. I am doing everything the Frosh-O staff taught me, but nothing is working out the way I planned. Yesterday, I saw Bennie, the boy from my Chem Tutorial, at South Dining Hall, and figured I would give the old serenade a try. I had never talked to Bennie before, but the Frosh-O staff told us it’s totally normal to sing to people you don’t know. They said the more dramatic, the better, so I pushed my way through the stir-fry line and jumped on the salad bar. I started belting “Hot Stuff” and shimming over the celery, but Bennie ran away instead of coming hither. I realized that Bennie didn’t realize I was singing to him and ran away because he was jealous that I was serenading someone else. So, I hopped off the salad bar and chased him to the Dumbledore portrait, shouting “Bennie, don’t worry, the song was for you!” He didn’t respond; he was so deeply wounded by the idea that I might like someone else that he couldn’t bear to look at me. That’s why he switched out of my Chem Tutorial.

After I ruined my chances with Bennie, I was too broken-up to stay in the dining hall. I ventured to LaFun, searching for the free food that was there during Frosh-O. I almost gave up because the ice cream trucks weren’t in their normal spots, but then I found the Huddle, an AWESOME place with the best free food. I stuffed three pints of Ben & Jerry’s in my backpack and bounced out the door, only to feel firm hands pull me back into the store. 

“You didn’t pay for that.”

“Good one!” I laughed. “You should try out for the comedy club.”

He didn’t seem to like my suggestion, though. He tore open my backpack and pulled out the ice cream.

“Woah, buddy. The freezer back there has plenty of ice cream. Why don’t you get your own?” 

He took me to NDSP instead. 

While waiting to be interrogated by a security officer, I realized I was there because I followed the advice of my Frosh-O Staff. They encouraged us to take advantage of everything LaFun had to offer, but I guess I was too greedy with the free ice -cream, just like I made Bennie too jealous to bear. During Frosh-O, the staff told us to call NDSP whenever we were in trouble, just like I was now. With my one phone call, I dialed their number and they immediately responded. It was strange, though, because I felt like I was talking to myself.

Contact Erin Thomassen at                    [email protected]