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LSAT and real talk

Christian Myers | Sunday, October 6, 2013

Faithful readers of my Inside Columns (aka only my mom) will know that I am 100 percent serious about not taking these columns seriously. Today, however, there is something important I have to say, so I hope you’ll forgive me for devoting a portion of my column to some “real talk.”
Immigration reform in the United States is a vitally important and pressing issue. I and others on campus are working hard to advocate for reform and would appreciate your support. If you really want to find out more you can email me, and if you want to know about upcoming immigration related events, subscribe to the NDream text service. By texting “NDream” to 97779 and then providing an email address and zip code, you will receive text message updates about various immigration events on campus.
Now, back to the frivolity.
On Saturday, I took the LSAT so that I can go to law school. To quote Legally Blonde, “What? Like, it’s hard?”
I memorized some questions and reproduced them here so you can all see if you have what it takes to become discipulos legum.
From the analytical reasoning, or logic games, section:
Five children – Jamie, Xavier, D’squarius, Lashawnda and Ozamataz – went apple picking, and only one child picked apples at a time (I guess they’re anti-social?). The apple picking process followed the following rules: Ozamataz picked apples before Xavier but after D’Squarius. If Xavier picked before Lashawnda, then Ozamataz was the third to pick apples. If Jamie picked first, D’squarius went home in protest and Ozamataz’s basket broke.
13. If D’squarius picked first, how many pears did Ozamataz eat the day before? A) Twelve | B) None | C) Don’t count on it | D) Who? | E) Why do animals eat other animals?
15. Where is the apple orchard?
A) Osseo, MN | B) It does not exist | C) Xavier picks puce apples | D) “Braveheart” | E) Jamie is older than Lashawnda
From the logical reasoning section:
Author: Corporations need to reduce carbon emissions because greenhouse gasses destroy the ozone layer, which results in melting polar ice caps. The melting of the polar ice caps in turn destroys the habitats of polar bears and puts the species at risk of extinction.
22. Calculate the cube root of the proto-hypotenuse of the argument.
A) 867.5309 | B) Where’s the beef? | C) She assumes corporations are people | D) Quetzalcoatl is coming, repent | E) Polar bears are white.