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Grammy nominations: subpar

ERIN McAULIFFE | Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Oh Lorde(y) the Grammy nominations are out! (And praise “Yeezus” we have been spared another opportunity for Miley Cyrus to “perform” at an awards show.)

It seems as if the judges or God or Kanye or whoever is in charge of this stuff took an easy way out. Awarding nine nominations to Jay-Z and seven to Macklemore and Justin Timberlake. Here’s a haiku expressing my opinion on this system:

You are hot JT

And like you’re with Bey, Jay-Z

But more artists live.

This year’s nominations do not include the alternative acts we have become accustomed to seeing in the past years. We’ve seen Mumford & Sons, Bon Iver and Arcade Fire all steal the show. This year’s nominations skipped out on the alternative spectrum in favor of pop in the big categories, including Album of The Year and Best New Artist. Vampire Weekend’s “Modern Vampires of the City” or Tame Impala’s “Lonerism” were only nominated in the Alternative category. The acclaimed sister trio, HAIM, was denied any nominations.

While writing this article I decided to listen to some “Yeezus” to get hyped. I am currently fist-pumping and head-banging as hard as one can while remaining seated. Somehow Kanye only came away with nominations for Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song. However, I am convinced that, “Kanye had one of the best albums of all time.” 

Another controversial musical icon of 2013 was missing in the Grammy nominations. Miley’s hits, “We Can’t Stop” and “Wrecking Ball”, did not garner any nominations, while Miley’s album, “Bangerz,” missed the September 30 cutoff for eligibility. Although I am a Miley fan (haters to the back), I do believe this was a wise decision. Not only are her songs not Grammy-worthy (however, apparently “Blurred Lines” is?), but I also do not think the world’s middle-aged conservative mothers could handle another nude bikini instance in their suburban family rooms. 

Seventeen-year-old sensation Lorde garnered four nominations, but was skipped over for Best New Artist. Perhaps this is since she is so young and has only had one, maybe two singles top the charts thus far. CNN likened her to Katy Perry when she had the single “I Kissed A Girl” out, yet was also precluded from the Best Artist nominations. To this I say, “eww.” Do not compare Lorde to Katy Perry. Lorde has yet to don a bra made out of candy or sing the words, “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?”

An artist who received loads of accolades was Kendrick Lamar. About that, let’s just say there is an inspirational quote on a wall in the Observer office reading, “Kendrick Lamar, terrible person, terrible rapper, or both?” Who could forget his verse on “Control” insulting every rapper from Eminem, to A$AP, to (the term rapper used loosely here) Drake? Oh wait, everyone. 

In summation, these nominations leave much to be desired. “Just Give Me a Reason” why I shouldn’t “Roar” at this musical “Heist.”

Contact Erin McAuliffe at [email protected]