Leave your hate at the door, because I love HBO’s “True Detective.” The eight-episode murder mystery mini-series stars Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson as two present-day former detectives reflecting on their investigation of a serial killer nearly 20 years earlier, as a new and eerily similar killing looms.
Five episodes into the series that has dipped its toes into serial killers, hallucinatory drug flashbacks, murderous bikers, Satanism and Louisiana accents, and it’s safe to say I’m sleeping with the lights on.
With a million theories but no real answers as to where the show might go in its final three episodes, there’s really only one thing we know about “True Detective” ⎯ the show is coming back, but McConaughey and Harrelson aren’t. HBO developed the series as an anthology, a show that would run for multiple seasons but with a new story and cast of characters in each installment.
With Twitter running wild with theories on Thursday about who might be cast as next season’s detective, I figured Scene could take its own shots in the dark.
Jay-Z and Beyonce
Is there anything they can’t completely conquer? I feel safe in guessing no. Beyonce hasn’t had much opportunity to redeem herself for taking part in the third Austin Powers movie, and I assume she must be bored dominating the charts every time she opens her mouth. I like to imagine Jay-Z as the straight-laced detective just wants to keep his head down and the cases simple, but his apprentice (Bey) is a firecracker who just won’t let a seemingly open-and-shut go without a fight.
Jason Segel and a Muppet
Who says the partner has to be real? I see Segel as a brilliant caseworker forced to check himself into a mental institution after constant visions of a Muppet affect his ability to work with other people. But when the biggest catch of his career escapes from maximum-security prison, the police have no choice but to turn to the one man who knows how to catch him again ⎯ one man and his Muppet, that is.
Also, James Franco will voice the Muppet, and will spend 15 months getting into character by erecting a life-sized puppeteering structure and allowing a fourth grader on a sugar high to control all his movements and actions.
John Madden and Joe Buck
A newly-minted lieutenant trying to fill in the massive shoes left by his father (Buck), the former police chief and city hero, is forced to work with the office kook (Madden) while Internal Affairs looks into bogus corruption charges dreamed up by colleagues jealous of his seemingly unearned promotion. It seems like a sentence to purgatory, but turns out the old grouch still has a trick or two up his sleeve and the young buck has a few lessons to learn.
Kevin Hart and anyone over 6-feet tall.
This will happen in real life.
