This spring break on my trip to California (do not call it Cali ever, that is for the “noobs” according to locals) I spent some time at airport terminals and Disneyland. At both, I was required to wait in lines to ride things, pay too much for food and witness some awful fashion decisions.
Some see airports as an extension of their bedrooms, wearing everything from Snuggies to Juicy sweatsuits. Although, I admit, it is of the utmost importance to be comfortable on the impending flight, there are ways to accomplish this that do not involve bedazzled pink velour. If it were up to me, the TSA would have a fashion police division.
Besides sloppy clothing choices, there are also the inevitable people carrying pillows or even a Pillow Pet through the terminal. I understand that it enables a mid-flight nap, but the consequences are dire.
One of my friends insisted on carrying her moose Pillow Pet with her on the trip and ran into an interesting situation when we had to visit the restroom. Yes, the Pillow Pet entered the bathroom. It then sat next to an unassuming stranger for four hours. Snakes on a plane would have almost been a preferable animal encounter.
On the topic of animals, my trip to visit the animated characters at Disneyland also involved interesting stylistic choices. It was as if all the girls I had seen in the airport had shed their sweatsuits for short-shorts.
I felt a little hesitant about my own outfit choice for the day — I had to wear my running shoes and therefore resembled a midwestern soccer mom prepared to chase her kids around all day — until I stepped out of the car and spotted an older lady in the parking lot with a shirt reading “Don’t Hate My Glam.” Now I’m all for sending the haters to the back, but wearing that on a shirt is a little too “#TeamBold”. Also, I’m not sure what glam she was referencing since she had on jean shorts, sneakers and a ponytail — the only “glam” insight was the sequin embellishment on her t-shirt.
From there it only got worse. There was a plethora of girls in sorority shirts, sporting Nike shorts and sneakers in juxtaposition with their curled hair and full-on make-up. There were the girls in matching “#SB2K14” shirts reading “Tan Lines and Good Times.” There were even two girls matching completely and wearing shirts reading “She’s My Best Friend.”
If you’re wearing leather leggings at Disneyland, do less, and while you’re at it, get rid of that purple Juicy sweatsuit you inevitably wore on the plane ride here. Also, just a public service announcement, cutoffs and turkey legs make for an awful combination.
Hopefully those reading this will heed my concerns, but if not, just know that sweatpants don’t belong on the runway and I find amusement in your park outfits.
