The Observer is a student-run, daily print & online newspaper serving Notre Dame, Saint Mary's & Holy Cross. Learn about us.



Wanting what I can’t have

| Friday, February 6, 2015

Every two weeks, I deposit a small amount of my paycheck into my DraftKings or Fanduel account to launch myself into a consistent cycle of futility. In what feels like a horribly repetitive bi-weekly dream, I choose a sport that I convince myself I know, incorrectly predict a few athletes I am sure will perform well on that given night and stare at the meter on my phone indicating how hopeless it is for me to win any money. Any aspirations at a get-rich-quick scheme evaporate with the color-changing pixels on my phone.

Unlucky? Lack of sports knowledge? Poor choice in what to do with my five dollars? Perhaps. However, in what may be an early dark-horse “blessing in disguise” candidate for 2015, I think that this bi-weekly “investment” is beneficial to me and my bank account. And it is because I, like anyone else, am always wanting what I can’t have.

Granted, I’ve been sold a dream. These two daily fantasy sports sites sold me a dream, teasing my ego as a man, impressionable college student and casual sports spectator. And I bought that dream. Yet I hold that my financial status has benefited from this, and it is because of this that I know I am not going to win the big prize.

I may improbably one day win a a few dollars here or there, but realistically, I know that I am more likely to walk on to Mike Brey’s basketball team than win any kind of “jackpot” or “grand prize” money. I know that I will more than likely end up losing my small-dollar deposits and so to plan around that, I deposit a larger portion into my savings account.  Because I want to win — even though I am counting on the fact that I am going to lose — I force myself to save and inevitably win in a different sense (but to those of you arguing that I could simply have just started saving without dabbling in daily fantasy sports: that conclusion makes too much sense and is therefore invalid).

I want the easy life. I want the freedom and ability to go out every weekend with my friends. I want to sit on the couch on weeknights and watch college and pro hoops (yes, to watch my drafted fantasy team squander my five dollars away into cyber dust). But I don’t have the ability to enjoy all these things right now. I, like the rest of my peers, have responsibilities and priorities. And it is this kind of internal conflict that helps me in the end. This conflict forces me to balance my wants and needs, my desires and responsibilities. And who knows, perhaps one day it will lead me to these goals, these desires. And, of course, I need to work hard for them, but I need to want what I can’t have as well.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

Tags: , , ,

About Miko Malabute

Senior student at the University of Notre Dame, majoring in Biochemistry. From Tujunga, CA.

Contact Miko