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Sant-Miller: Making a giant fool of myself

| Monday, April 27, 2015

Ever since birth, I dreamed of having hair like Mel Kiper Jr. It’s where he keeps his draft secrets and behind-the-scenes NFL knowledge, both of which I have none of. Wish me luck and feel free to mock my draft.

Tampa Bay: Jameis Winston, quarterback, Florida State

They like him, and they haven’t been subtle about it. He’s NFL-ready.

Tennessee: Marcus Mariota, quarterback, Oregon

Mariota goes second overall; the question is whether or not Tennessee trades the pick to someone else.

Jacksonville: Dante Fowler Jr., linebacker, Florida

Quarterback value is high and so is getting to the quarterback. Jacksonville needs a pass rusher, and Fowler is the best in the draft.

Oakland: Amari Cooper, receiver, Alabama

Cooper is NFL-ready, and Oakland is dying for consistent offensive weapons.

Washington: Leonard Williams, defensive lineman, USC

Best football player in the draft is picked fifth. Welcome to the need-driven NFL.

New York Jets: Bud Dupree, linebacker, Kentucky

A head scratcher because Dupree is so raw. Still, he has the potential to be special in this system.

Chicago: Kevin White, receiver, West Virginia

Jumping with joy, Chicago gets its top receiver prospect to replace Brandon Marshall.

Atlanta: Vic Beasley, linebacker, Clemson

Need for a pass rusher is too high not for them to target one here. Beasley is a workout wonder.

New York Giants: Brandon Scherff, offensive lineman, Iowa

Easy, smart and safe pick. Scherff is the best lineman in the eyes of all 32 teams.

St. Louis: DeVante Parker, receiver, Louisvile

If the Rams don’t move up to take White or Cooper, they snag Parker. They want offensive line help but don’t reach after the Giants break their heart.

Minnesota: Trae Waynes, cornerback, Michigan State

Waynes is the most complete corner in the draft and falls to the secondary-hungry Vikings.

Cleveland: Breshad Perriman, receiver, Central Florida

This year’s 40-yard dash pick goes to the Cleveland Browns.

New Orleans: Shane Ray, linebacker, Missouri

Somehow Ray ends up as the forgotten pass rusher. He’s too good to pass on this late.

Miami: La’el Collins, offensive lineman, LSU

He can play guard or tackle, and Miami needs help up front.

San Francisco: Danny Shelton, defensive lineman, Washington

The 49ers really want an inside linebacker, but they make the smart pick and don’t reach.

Houston: Kevin Johnson, cornerback, Wake Forest

Corner depth is still needed despite locking up Kareem Jackson. Johnson is pro-ready.

San Diego: Todd Gurley, running back, Georgia

Gurley is a special talent. He feels right for a team looking for a running back.

Kansas City: Andrus Peat, offensive lineman, Stanford

The Chiefs have multiple holes to fill, and Peat is ready to start coming from a pro-style system.

Cleveland: Arik Armstead, defensive lineman, Oregon

Armstead might be better than people think. He is strong against the run, which was a weakness for the Browns.

Philadelphia: Byron Jones, cornerback, Connecticut

Cornerback? Check. Exceptional athlete? Check. Most importantly, Chip Kelly likes him. Check.

Cincinnati: Randy Gregory, linebacker, Nebraska

The free fall stops here. He’s gifted but with character concerns. Marvin Lewis can handle it.

Pittsburgh: Landon Collins, safety, Alabama

Plug-and-play replacement for a retired legend, Troy Polamalu.

Detroit: Cameron Erving, offensive lineman, Florida State

Erving is a special player who is flying under the radar.

Arizona: Jalen Collins, cornerback, LSU

They need a running back but don’t seem crazy about Melvin Gordon. I think they trade back, but some secondary depth makes sense, too.

Carolina: Ereck Flowers, offensive lineman, Miami

He’s ready to start, and Carolina is desperate for offensive line help.

Baltimore: Melvin Gordon, running back, Wisconsin

Baltimore doesn’t draft for need, rather picks the best player available. Gordon is that player.

Dallas: Malcolm Brown, defensive lineman, Texas

They want Melvin Gordon and will try to jump Baltimore. If not, Brown has the talent to be picked well before this and can’t fall any further.

Denver: T.J. Clemmings, offensive lineman, Pittsburgh

He’ll push people around in Denver’s new run-focused offense. Plug-and-play right tackle.

Indianapolis: D.J. Humphries, offensive lineman, Florida

Not the mauler other tackles in the draft are but moves well in pass protection. Makes sense in the Andrew Luck offense.

Green Bay: Marcus Peters, cornerback, Washington

They need a corner. He has huge character concerns, which usually don’t fit in Green Bay, but I can see them trusting their locker room to get the best cover corner in the draft.

New Orleans: Nelson Agholor, receiver, USC

Agholor can do special things with Brees. Über-talented slot receiver.

New England: Eddie Goldman, defensive lineman, Florida State

Vince Wilfork is remembered but replaced.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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