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Thursday, April 18, 2024
The Observer

You gotta regatta

Do Finals have you down? Are you exhausted from a hard week of watching the NHL playoffs instead of studying? Do you yearn for an existential experience and need to seek meaning in this life? If your answer is anywhere from a yes to a soft no to any of these questions then you need to know about the Fisher Regatta. Did you know the Manti Te’o’s girlfriend, an avid Regatta attendee, makes the trip out to Saint Mary’s lake simply because the thought of such a great event almost seems to good to be true? Legend has it that before the time of the Regatta men lived in caves. They were dark times. Don’t return to those dark times. Come to Saint Mary’s Lake on April 23 to enjoy free hamburgers, slushies, music, Spikeball and a guaranteed good time hosted by the Men’s Hall of the Year, Fisher Hall. Rumor has it Fr. John Jenkins will be on his Royal Barge. Take a load off and enjoy this great weather — for all we know it could be snowing next weekend. Put down your books and grab your paddles. You can study during reading days, that is what they are for. There is a reason the Regatta is ranked in top 100 college events by ESPN. If that doesn’t do enough for you, think of the eternal glory and riches to follow after a Regatta victory. So grab your friends, grab your regatta tank, have a good time, pursue perfection on the lake and regatta to your heart’s content. You have the privilege, nay the pleasure, to participate in the greatest campus event and you would be silly not to partake. As the old saying goes, “You Gotta Regatta.”  

David Carmack

freshman

April 21

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.