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The want for waffles

| Tuesday, October 11, 2016

One determinant of quality journalism is timeliness.

This column is not particularly timely, but it does address what I believe to be a tragic decision on the part of Notre Dame: the decision to take away the waffle makers.

Starting this year, South Dining Hall no longer serves waffles past breakfast. According to the signage posted around the waffle-making station, this change was made due to “a lack of interest.”

First, I’d like to say that I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed — and I’m also mad.

How can you get rid of waffles, South Dining Hall? For two and a half years now, waffles have been a staple of my diet here on campus. They are my solace in times of trouble and my go-to meal when the other dining options fail — which is often).

And I know I am not alone. There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of fellow Notre Dame students who understand and appreciate the nutritious and therapeutic powers of the waffle.

Even the word “waffle” is so fun to say. Waffle waffle waffle. By taking away waffles, South Dining Hall is basically saying they hate fun.

Ad hominem attacks aside, the suppression of the waffle irons makes no sense. The “lack of interest” reason implies that the dining hall is losing money somehow on the transaction. But is that really the case? The only ingredient in a waffle is the waffle batter and waffle batter is just milk, eggs and flour — all ingredients the dining hall buys on a regular basis.

And by turning off the four waffle irons for lunch and dinner, how much money are you really saving? I’m all for the conservation of energy when possible, but are the waffle irons really the thing to target? Plus, students make their own waffles so they don’t waste the time of dining hall employees.

If the dining hall powers at be made the — terrible — decision to do away with waffles at lunch and dinner due to a “lack of interest,” logically, they should take away other dining options that don’t generate the all-powerful level of interest necessary.

What about broccoli? Surely no one likes broccoli. And how many people get into Indian night? Be serious now. And what about all the trappings and different salad dressing available every day? How much interest is there for these specialized items?

The goal of this column is not to pick on everyone’s favorite dining hall item. But we do need to band together to prevent our items from being wiped off the menu. Bleu cheese dressing isn’t my favorite dressing — ranch is, and it’s not bad on waffles, by the way — but it has just as much right to appear in our dining hall as waffles.

The only question I leave you with is: What’s next? If waffles don’t generate enough “interest,” what food will? To quote Benjamin Franklin, “If we don’t hang together, we will most assuredly hang separately.”

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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About Marek Mazurek

Marek is a senior history major and is a former resident of Carroll Hall. He has lived in Mishawaka or South Bend for all 21 years of his life and covers Notre Dame football and men's basketball. He has loads of hand-eye coordination but lacks the height to be any good. Marek is also a proud esports supporter.

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