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Murphy: EA stole my happiness

| Thursday, November 15, 2018

I have coached the Navy Midshipmen to six-straight national championships, mentored three Heisman trophy winners and maintained a consistent top-10 recruiting class in my tenure. These are my greatest accomplishments. And yet, I find myself searching for something more.

By something more, I actually mean something new. By something new, I mean a new NCAA Football video game.

Like thousands of other fans, I have long awaited the return of NCAA Football. Five years ago, EA Sports announced that NCAA 14 would be their last release of the popular video game due to their unwillingness to pay collegiate athletes for their likenesses — a payment that would also probably be disallowed by the NCAA governing committee itself.

But this is a cop-out. EA Sports could have struck a deal with the NCAA and players to keep the game alive. They could have tossed out some cash to the greedy NCAA governing association and maybe a free game to everyone whose likeness was used. But no. They had to rip my joy away from me. EA Sports — those sadistic fools — robbed me of my happiness.

Instead, I have dutifully continued playing NCAA Football 14. The game was far ahead of its time, but imagine how much better it could be today. If EA Sports had continued producing NCAA Football, it is possible that humanity would be technologically five years ahead of where it is today. We could have flying cars. We could have solved the energy crisis. Instead, we have nothing.

Many of you might say, “Hey, Murph, chill out. Why don’t you just play the new Madden? Isn’t that just as good?”

No, it is not. Madden — much like the NFL itself — is a cold, disheartening game. Not only were the graphics and physics of Madden always consistently behind those of the NCAA Football games, Madden also doesn’t let me take a directional state school from the bottom of the MAC to a national powerhouse. Madden doesn’t let me run the triple option down Alabama’s throat. Madden doesn’t let me work my way up from high school recruit to two-time Heisman winner.

Simply put, Madden doesn’t let me live my dreams. NCAA Football does.

Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic. Maybe NCAA Football is just representative to me of a simpler time, of a time spent with friends drinking soda and eating Doritos in our parents’ basements.

Maybe NCAA Football is actually just my childhood, each day drifting farther away as time inevitably stumbles on.

The tide rises, the tide falls.

Or, maybe NCAA Football is what I believe it to be: the greatest sports video game series of all time. At this point, if EA Sports were to release a new game, my console would be way out of date. Nevertheless, I would buy a new console just to reclaim my former joy. In a way, by not releasing a new NCAA Football game, EA Sports is actually just destroying the economy. The release of a new game would trigger a mass of purchases in the technology sector. The cowards at EA Sports are single-handedly driving the world into a recession.

I am but one of many loyal devotees to the NCAA Football series. We are a movement. Our voices will be heard. With each day we wander lost through the desert, we move one day closer to the Promised Land. EA Sports, bring us to the Promised Land. Lead us not into the temptation of Madden, but deliver us to the virtual football joy we have so long awaited.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

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About Thomas Murphy

Thomas is a sophomore in the Program of Liberal Studies, where he double minors in Business & Economics and Philosophy, Politics, and Economics. He is ideologically in favor of the Oxford Comma, and encourages readers to contact their local representatives regarding the codification of its usage.

Contact Thomas